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This can't be happening! Already a perfectly, messed up day and now this? All I did was run to the corner store. It took, hmmm, what seven minutes? One of those I-wish-I-had-stayed-in-bed days. Started with the alarm going off at 6:00 a.m. This is Sunday for crying out loud! I rolled over and turned off the alarm with some really choice words added to Alan Jackson's “She's Got The Rhythm, I've Got The Blues”. Ha, ha, ha if Alan could only hear what I did to his song he would turn several shades of red I do believe. He might even turn purple! That sort of took off the steam of waking up so early but a foreboding over took me when I snuggled back under the covers and BLAM, right into Duchess I went, stupid dog.
Finally woke up on my own around 10:00 a.m. and realized there was no way we could make it to church on time today. By the time Michael got up and made himself into his perception of the perfect 17-years-old male, well, there went a good hour, give or take a minute or twenty. The crisis of last night when he took his shower and discovered to his horror we only had Suave shampoo and not his needed Herbal Essence shampoo and conditioner was about to be repeated I feared. Ok, so I didn't have time to go to Wal-Mart and buy his beloved name brand necessities. Am glad I did manage to throw in the underarm deodorant that saves his precious body from *gasp* smelling. Jessica was already grumbling that we were going to be late and that we would never make it on time. She was up and raring to go even if I could barely see her through encrusted, I-slept-too-long- eyes. I do believe she looks rather nice, a bit disheveled but nice. How nice can an 11-years-old “Spice Girl wannabe” look whose mom's sense of fashion would put a nun to shame? Oh well, at least she can pretend at home and dress the way she wants as long as she isn't seen in public like that.
Seven minutes makes such a difference in one's life. Kris, Amanda, Michael, Kim, Jessica, mom and I together for Sunday dinner. Eagerly awaiting the unique taste only turkey can produce was ours for the feasting only minutes away. So much better than our weekday eating rush jobs of quick meals and drive thru's. Figured we would be ready to sit down and eat around 5:30 p.m. or so. All I needed were our favorite rolls to be put in the oven right before everyone arrived. Michael and Jessica went with mom to Wal-Mart to get his beloved necessities so I had a few extra minutes of solitude before the house sprung to life.
Those rolls. Curse those rolls! Forgot to buy them earlier when I ran to the store for olives, mmm green olives. Trudy distracted me while getting the last minute items I needed to make our Sunday dinner. Yakkity, yak, yak, man can that woman talk! She is one of the reasons I have almost perfected my selective hearing process. THAT'S IT! I can blame her for...naw, all this was my fault and anyone who knows me knows what a scatterbrain I am at times. Anyway, I glanced at the table on my way back out the door and it looked so warm waiting in silence for the kids, mom and I. So regal looking with the $.99 place mats mom was lucky enough to acquire at a rummage sale this summer.
So out the door I went with an easy enough plan. Had just the right amount of time to buy and cook the rolls and everyone should be at home by the time I finished cooking them. Such luck! I was the only customer at the bread store, YIPPEE! Whizzed right through there and was happily on my way back home singing along to “Chattahoochee” by Alan none-the-less, but at least this time I was in a much better listening mood.
I pulled in the driveway and noticed no one was home so all was well and going according to my plan. Made a mad dash into the house and froze in shock when I saw the island in the middle of the kitchen. “OH-MY-GOD!” I bellowed. “THIS …OH MY GOD!” I screamed. The island was empty, void, nothing there, zip, zilch, nada! Shaking from shock and quickly rising anger, my livid eyes glanced at the floor by the dishwasher. Glass, bones, and turkey drippings mixed in a frenzied pattern. I only yelled one sound, one word the family heard as they walked through the door, “GGGRRRR, DUCHESS!!!”
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