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I wish that I had spent in bars
the money that I’ve blown on cars.
Starting way back in my teens
I count some twenty in between
my first car (helped me get the girls)
and today’s, which cost the world.
Along the way I’ve tried them all,
from sporty Porsche to carry-all.
I’ve even had a truck or two,
but those I’ve loved were very few.
The Nine Fourteen was quite a car;
she was air-cooled, blue, and took me far –
from coast to coast of this great land –
but then I sold her for a grand.
A silver ‘Vette was next I think.
She’d do the quarter in a wink,
but somewhere near the Utah flat
I blew her engine – that was that.
What happened next is sad but true –
we had a kid, and then had two.
My two-door ride was out of place;
I got a wagon in disgrace.
No longer free to cruise the street
on Friday nights in something sweet,
I slowly turned into a man
who had to drive a minivan.
Years went by and life was grim;
I forgot about my custom rims.
The Auto Show became a bore –
“Check out our new sliding door!”
But soon enough the kids were grown
and wanted wheels of their own;
but not that hemi-powered scene –
instead, they wanted something green!
Safety was their main concern,
then they measured what it burned.
They looked at me like I was mad,
like going fast was something bad.
A rift developed after that –
no more Indy, no more Flats.
We never saw a race again –
not Daytona, not The Glen.
And that’s the way it might have stayed
if one more card had not been played:
the price of gas went through the roof
and Greenland‘s melting was the proof
that all those years of breakneck speed
and fossil fuel powered greed
have left the earth we all have spurned
on the brink of no return.
So now I’ve come around at last
and I no longer drive too fast;
in fact I don’t drive much at all –
if that’s a pain, it’s very small.
And, when I ride my bike to town,
I like to hum “I Get Around;”
and if it takes me half an hour,
where’s the harm? It’s pedal power.
My wife, as always, says it best;
so now I’ll let her say the rest,
“I always asked you what’s the hurry?
You always told me not to worry!”
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