I cannot understand what you’ve gone through,
And I thought my life has been tough.
I feel horrible for comparing my story to yours.
Don’t apologize more, you’ve done it enough.
Don't think I won’t like you because of your past,
All I feel is sympathy, nothing more profound.
I am not like most people, I am not quick to judge,
I’m not like people who forget about others around.
You are amazing, you are incredible,
And cutting yourself won’t make that change.
You must understand that I am not freaked out,
And I’m not mad, though it may seem strange.
Make a commitment.
You should never hate yourself,
You can hate what you have done…
Regret the actions, then stop.
Until then, you haven’t won.
You just have to stop, and you can.
I believe in you! Can’t you see?
You can do it, you can stop,
Just do it for me…
I do like you a lot, even still…
And you should never forget it.
You need to stop degrading yourself.
You’re so great, you just don’t see it.
By making it seem like you deserve this,
You are not hurting yourself, solely,
You’re hurting people who care for you…
You’re hurting people like me.
I hate seeing you hurt yourself so much…
This is not the way I want it to be.
Don’t assume that I don’t want listen!
If you need anything, just ask, honestly.
Make a commitment.
You should never hate yourself,
You can hate what you have done…
Regret the actions, then stop.
Until then, you haven’t won.
You just have to stop, and you can.
I believe in you! Can’t you see?
You can do it, you can stop,
Just do it for me…
Just do it for me.
_________________________________________________
Author's note: This poem is meant to be a song.
and its meant to be in the perspective of one
of the most understanding friends I know. He
is the only one who really supports me in these
hard times I’ve been going through, and it means
sooooo much to me. And that's why I wrote this.
I actually used the exact text that he sent to me
in his emails. I rearranged it, and made it rhyme.
_________________________________________________
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This is a great write. It doesn't matter what it is, song or poem, the story is good. What this person is saying is true. Everyone is special in their own way, but you have to believe in yourself to make the best of it! We all have bad feelings from the past, but we can learn from them and be better for it. You have a lot of talent and to waist it because you are upset is a bad thing. I will never understand cutting and I hope that they quit it! Good luck, Anthony
This is a great piece, very thoughtful, thought-provoking, and so well structured. One thing disturbed me very much--at the end you say this is taken from life and the persona is your good friend. I truly hope you're not saying you're a cutter. If you are I know a lot of us earnestly desire you to stop! and get some help doing it. I just can't believe your talent! Keep up the good work. Really. Wayne
I love this poem, the line:
"Make a commitment"
is rather chilling.
Its very well writen and I can see somany emotions being poured into it. You are an amazing writer, please keep writing.
And, at this point we stop and cry. We raise a cup of sorrow to all that cut, a cup of love to all that help, and a cup of hate to that which inflicts it hateful hurt upon, especially, our young. Your writing elicits these thoughts and feelings, and so we go, wanting to reach out a healing hand, and maybe in that want, offering a healing word. ^^
I was going to say exactly how this sounded like a song. If you put some music to this, then you'll be all set. I actually enjoyed this and I enjoyed the transition between the verses. Great and awesome work! Excellent job!!!!
It kind of had the feel of a song. The beginning told a clear story and the end explained more of the details to the emotions behind the ideas. Very balanced piece with a strong meaning behind it. I really like story telling within poetry, so I particularly enjoyed this piece.
Interesting fact you used actual text from emails. I integrate random little tidbits like that in my poems sometimes. Usually it's just something regarding a very small fact I managed to retain.
Like, in my one poem, "Ohsiete" there was a line with a really subtle relation to reality. My Dell was a dimension 2600 or something like that and the person I wrote it to had a Dell Dimension Series but the number was exact six thousand above it. That computer died and I got another HP. HP is my favorite brand but in the poem I wrote, "We were more than six thousand dimensions apart, but now we're not even in the same timeline." Really dramatic line to have such a weird relation to reality, right? XD
Sorry for the big rant. >.< Good work on this piece all the same!