|
Comments on this Article/Poem:
Click on the commenter's name to see their Author's Page
 03-31-2008 Wayne Thomas
Something about a crush/fantasy that seems to explain all things. As I first began to read, I thought, just one more teenage gush/crush poem, knowing most crushes never pan out. But the ending got me in a grip--"maybe...we'll meet". What a depth of feelings buried in this little poem! Do some more! :)
|
03-28-2008 Walter Jones
Soft words used to convey magic, a write filled, extension of image used, voice played in conveyance of a clever message left, out standing package of poetry, a very difficult accomplishment completed... Walt
|
03-28-2008 Kelley Appleby
This has a wonderfully wispy feel to it. I like how you convey your interest in this object of your affection without over-writing it, or over-dramatizing things...
This is the case too many times when trying to explore feelings of unrequited love. When typical, age-old conditions are portrayed as bordering on obsession, I find it unnerving.
Your effort is just wonderfully.... normal ^.^
I mean that in a good way! I'm impressed with your ability as a young writer; Only 15 and I think you show great promise!
My favorite poem of this genre is by A. Cowley:
It's very short but explains it concisely :)
"A mighty pain to love it is,
And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain."
Best of luck, Samantha...
Write as often as you can! ^^
|
03-21-2008 Frank Fields
This is a very complex work and needs to be read carefully and slowly and several times. If these things are done, some doors will open and some lights may shine on the deeper meanings that come to me, at any rate. ^^
It's interesting that you are writing as if this object of your love was right beside you. Until the end, when we have to decide to what it is that you are speaking. A dream? A wish? An on-line personality?
This reminds me somewhat of my own writing, if you will forgive my vanity. It is quiet, and gentle, and smooth, and tells a story, and is filled with emotional touches that brush against one's heart and mind. It also draws the reader into your web and won't let him go until you're done with the final word.
Masterful touches, all of these and more. If this writing is speaking to more than a very well presented idea, I hope that meeting will take place and the notice given. ^_~
Frank :)
|
03-19-2008 Leigh G.
Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes ever:
Is it like this? Is it always the same? If you like this, would you remember my name?
It's a very sad sentiment, when you think of it. Wondering how a person thinks of you, whether they're more than a friend or not, is a common topic for a poem but my favorite is usually wondering if someone you know a little bit even acknowledges you. This is close to that, so I enjoyed this piece. :)
The flow and rhymes were admirable and kept things moving all the way into the end. It wasn't the largest of all poems but you conveyed your point and idea very clearly. Great work, keep it comin'!
And if that stupid phone starts blinking next time I open a page I'm unplugging it...
Leigh of the Commenting Community
|
03-18-2008 Rikki V.
yes yes smurfette i have dragged myself here to comment on your poem just like you have asked.
sorry it took so long we all have been overloaded and slammed with school
this is truly magnificent i recall reading this in your journal a few weeks back and i remember you told me it was about that guy Richard you had a crush on but i think it explains us all at times
|
03-16-2008 Eric Gasparich
A good poetic explication of the ambivalence most young people feel about themselves, their worth, their place in life, their desirability to the opposite sex, etc. Self-consciousness is the subtext of nearly every line. Some things get clearer as you get older, but I wish I could tell you things get better, too. Yes. I do wish that. ;)
|
03-16-2008 Richard Reed Jr
There is a nice rhythm to this poem and some very good rhymes. It's a soft and gentle poem.
I was very entertained when I read your poem and I hope you keep up the good writes.
Thanks for sharing.
~Rich
|
|
Visitor
Reads: 50
Total Reads: 83
Comments: 8
Author's Page
Email the Author
Add a Comment
Favorite of:
|
|
Welcome !
