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She Changed The Look Within My Eyes
by Richard Reed Jr
copyright 03-19-2008


Age Rating: 7 to 127

 
Which once half-dimmed did vaguely see,
Through hazy sun and clouded skies,
Half-dreams provoking lethargy,
Half-life, half-death, half-truth, half-lies,
She changed all these, but more changed me.

She turned the crimson brightly red,
With upturned smile she deftly turned,
My spirit, heart, mind, and head,
Long stilled, a poet's voice returned,
From whence in hoarseness it had fled,
To a place where heart's dreams only yearned.

She stole within and stars stole out,
And something newborn begged to stir,
With pleading cries its mouth did pout,
Then smiled when moving close to her,
"She walks in beauty", Byron's words beshout,
To walk along when'ere I can is all I dare prefer.



**********Dedicated to my Darling Juney**********


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03-20-2008 Frank Fields    

Excellent! And is where I want to be. Again.
Beyond the art and merit and meaning of the work, 2 technicals came to mind:
To my taste the last line unflows. And to bring out the really salty pen, I do believe the way you have it's should be its? those two, even to this day, confuse me.

Still--is a very moving, imagery filled, coherent, meaningful write. ^^

Frank :)
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