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“Doesn’t she look so innocent when she’s sleeping?” whispered Lisa, “and so untroubled.”
Robert walked softly over to the bed and tucked the covers in tighter around Mary-Anne’s shoulders. A small smile came over her face as she snuggled down deeper into the blankets. Luna shifted with her and softly began to purr.
“Take care of her Luna,” Robert whispered as he scratched the kitten’s head, “She really needs a friend tonight.”
Robert walked back to Lisa, took her by the hand and walked to the living room. Sitting curled up tightly on the couch was their son, Bobby. He quickly brushed away the tears that escaped down his face as he tried to hide the fact he had been crying. At age 12, it wasn’t a cool thing for a boy to be doing.
“Son, it’s ok to cry. I think we all need a good cry,” Robert stated as he let go of Lisa’s hand and sat down beside his troubled son, “After all that has happened, crying isn’t sissy, it’s really normal.”
“Dad, do you really think that Mary-Anne’s dad killed Tracey?” Bobby gulped trying to stop that flood of tears from rising again.
Robert wiped away his tears, “Son, I don’t know what to think. She hasn’t told us much more except her memories of her friend and the girl in the picture, which is Tracey, is the same. But that seems to be enough.”
“The police are going to contact northern Ontario and have them check old files but no one is sure if we’ll ever get enough proof,” Robert continued on, finding it hard to talk beyond the lump in his throat, “We might not really ever know the answers, even if Mary-Anne gains full recovery of the memory. It’s been so long, we might never bring Tracey home now.”
Lisa gasped loudly. Breaking out in tears she ran quickly from the living room and towards the kitchen. Both Bobby and Robert jumped when the door slammed. Robert jumped up then hesitated. He looked back at Bobby, who nodded in silent agreement, then ran out the back door. Bobby remained curled up on the couch.
Silent.
“Lisa, honey, where are you?”
Robert looked frantically around the backyard. Where had she gone? He looked over and saw the side gate open. Quickly he went over and stepped out onto the side lane. No sign of Lisa anywhere neither up nor down the lane. Where could she have gone so fast?
“Lisa, sweetheart, where are you? Robert’s voice became more frantic and louder, as he walked down the lane. As he reached the end of the lane, he looked down the main road – both right and left – without seeing his wife.
“Lisa, answer me, you have me really worried!” Robert muttered more to himself than anyone. He walked back up the lane, entered the back yard through the gate and shut it behind him.
“Where are you Lisa?” Robert yelled, then taking one final sweep of the back yard he re-entered the house.
Robert dropped down on the cold tiles of the kitchen floor, holding his head in his hands. He sobbed, his cries filling the kitchen with gasps of pain. He had promised to protect this family, some protection. A broken girl lay drugged in her bed, a numb child was curled up on the couch and a wife simply vanished into the evening fog and a daughter lay dead in an unmarked place alone. He crawled to the bottom cupboard under the sink and opened it. Shaking, he reached inside and pushed aside cleaning bottles until he found a box that no one ever noticed tucked into the back corner. As he opened the box, he burst into fresh tears as pain ripped apart his heart. Slowly, with trembling hands, he unscrewed the lid and raised the bottle of amber liquid to his lips.
“God forgive me” he whispered as he took one long swallow.
“NO!”
Robert stood up and smashed the bottle in the sink, as he spat out the whiskey.
“NO!”
He kicked the cupboard door shut with a loud bang and slammed his hands down upon the counter.
“I refuse to fall back!” He yelled, “I will not be that weak again!”
“Damn it Lisa, you have to be out there somewhere. We can’t keep running away! We just can’t! We are family and family stick together!”
“Daddy?” Bobby whispered, as he stood at the door, frightened at the outburst he had just witnessed.
Robert took two large steps and reached to where Bobby was standing. Quickly he dropped down on his knees and pulled Bobby into a tight hug.
“Son forgive me, I promised never to drink and….” His voice broke as he burst into tears, “…and I never will again.”
Robert gathered up Bobby in his arms, holding him tight without any words passing between. Neither heard the back door open nor saw the woman standing there, pale and shaken. She took in the broken bottle lying in pieces in the sink and her heart tore. She looked down at the two men she loved most in life and realized running wouldn’t solve problems – nor mend broken hearts. If Robert could defeat the alcohol, she could face whatever life handed…not by running but by being there with her family. She brushed aside her tears, took a deep breath then whispered,
“Is there room in that hug for one more?”
As they parted to allow her in, Lisa knew in her heart that whatever pains tomorrow would bring; they would face it with strength together. No matter what, they were family and their love would defeat any dragons that threaten to darken their world and destroy their peace. Tomorrow they would find the answers. Tonight they would simply be.
© 2001
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