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May I Dance With You...?

by Frank Fields
copyright 04-27-2008
Contest Winner


Age Rating: 13 +
May I Dance With You...?
Picture Credits: http://www.allposters.com


May I dance with you,
One last and final dance?
Hold you in my arms again
Your soft hand in mine
Your blushing cheek
Soft upon my shoulder.

Is that a tear I see
That faint glisten
Like a diamond drop
Or is it faerie dew
Sparkles in love's eye?

Press soft against my chest
I feel your heart
Or is that mine
Or both as one
Together always tuned?

May I dance with you,
One last and final dance?
Before you leave me lonely
Feel my lips against your ear
Whisper of love's times and joys.

Hear our snow-white doves
As they surround in vain attempt
To keep us as their own.
Kiss my lips, my love
Your gentle pleasures, theirs.

Is that a tear I see
That faint glisten
Like a diamond drop
Or is it faerie dew
Of mine, down my own cheek?

May I dance with you.
One last and final dance?
My legs brush yours
As yours do mine
Like soft satin, gently touched.

See, our friends they've come
This one last time
To share their treasures
See their eyes sparkle too
Or is that the faerie dew?

Move with me now
As we are one and one
The lutes and flutes
Do mournful trill
The Pipes of Pan, now still.

May I dance with you,
One last and final dance?
Before you leave again
My love too weak to hold you
But share this diamond drop
Sparkling of the faerie dew.

~~~~~~~~






Visitor Reads: 1086
Total Reads: 1114
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        10-12-2008     Leigh Gilholm Fisher        

Firstly, thanks for entering my contest, "Wishes!" :D I also appreciate the comment on my recent submission. ^-^ I'll fix those typos shortly *thumbs up*

Moving on, this was a really nice piece! I especially liked the repetition of the title line and the longing feeling the descriptions reflected. It was very sad and the picture added to the feeling of nostalgia. :) Great work on this piece!

Thanks again for entering!

Leigh

        07-16-2008     Frank Fields        

Some of you have wanted to know, "Why?" This may help a little bit.

spiders and faeries

        07-16-2008     Frank Fields        

Debbie, ^^

Thank you. =^_^=

It's more encouraging than you may know to receive these fine and generous comments from the ladies, here. From both sides of our readership.

Frank :)



        07-15-2008     Deborah Thomas        

Classic beauty. Intensely provocative. One could almost taste the tears... or is that faerie dew?
The doves were hopelessly romantic, and an unexpected addition.
'My legs brush yours, as yours do mine' and 'move with me now as we are one and one'..
I somehow think there is more yet to come for the characters here.
Well done.

        07-15-2008     Frank Fields        

Tammy, ^^

Thank you so much. :)

I had a long list of things to say here and forgot every one. lol Then I realized that none of them could add a thing, not really, to the wisdom of your generous and gentle comments, or to the work, itself. ^^ <3

Frank :)

        07-15-2008     Tammy Frascona        

I don't think I've ever read something so absolutely beautiful like this before...... All the very different emotions caught up in this one piece I thought I would cry myself, and then the repetition of the verses just intensified it even more, also this would make a great love song as well as a poem because of the repetition and how well it flows; plus it's such a great story!
I think the age rating is perfect... I say that because I think it's important for the young readers to understand at an early age what real love is and love lost as well...they learn to appreciate them selves and others earlier on and can give love as well as receive love from others because they have been taught and exposed to beautiful, innocent, works of art like this one!
Fondly,
*** Tammy F. ***

        07-08-2008     Brooke Marquette        

Beautiful one again!! I love it! Gentle and flowing wonderfully, it was touching and beautiful. It was so perfect, but sad in itself...why were they leaving each other?
This was beautiful! Keep up the awesome work!

        04-27-2008     Frank Fields        

Rebekah, ^^

Thank you for your comments, I appreciate them.

On the cause of a separation? Any number of things. What comes to mind immediately would be another lover. But, in the world of love, there are never any guarantees.

On the illustration? I went through hundreds, literally, trying to find the one that captured the sensuality as well as the love expressed in the poem. I checked opaquely clothed, semi-clothed, totally nude, partially nude, couples holding, couples not touching, angels, faeries, illustrations with religious themes, mythical lovers, historic lovers, etc. This one, which is NOT nude, btw, I put into our gallery, and gleefully used here, perfectly expresses the sentiments. Regardless of how she is draped, she is lost--never to be held again. A single, female, classical figure seemed quite appropriate.

On the age? I try very carefully to rate my works appropriately. I have changed them before. This one I studied very carefully for content and meaning, explicit or implicit, including the illustration. I wanted as large an audience to enjoy and appreciate both--the poem and the illustration as a total experience. I'm quite aware that we have a reasonable number of young people in the 13 to 15 year-old age grouping. I wanted them to be able to enjoy this work, as they have others which I've posted. ^^
If I thought there was anything objectionable, in any way, that precluded the experience of this poem from being enjoyed by that age group, also, I would have rated it at 16+ to begin. Or just gone ahead and set it at a totally adult level--18+. To have done that, wouldn't have seemed fair to our younger readers.
However, in the event that I'm being too defensive on a perfectly innocent, but beautiful and classical offering--especially considering that so many of the anime programs which I enjoy are rated at Y 7, but exhibit very provocative young ladies and situations--if I receive any serious objections to the illustration, I'll change it, or remove it totally.

But I really do appreciate your observations, your understanding of the poem, and your considerations for the young people on this site.

Rant over. ^_^ It seemed better to do all that here, in public as it were, than in an email.

Frank

        04-27-2008     Rebekah Schultz        

This is such a sweet and delicate poem (like a rose). It's like a short story in itself, but it makes me wonder what could ever separate these two star-crossed lovers (for personal application)? It makes me feel fanciful and saddened, at the same time ... very moving.

Oh, I LOVE the classical nude, but I wonder if another picture would be more appropriate ... perhaps one in the same style, but with a man embracing (or trying to embrace) the woman. Maybe you should up the age rating because of the pic too. Just a thought!



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