Villanelle in A-Minor
by
Wayne Thomas
(Age: 58)
copyright 05-25-2008
Age Rating: 13 to 127
How dark to the soul is the onrush of night!
Instead of the laughter of children at play,
How vain is the groping for yesterday's light!
The laughter has ceased. Like some dark, dreadful blight
That turns men to dry leaves and sweeps them away,
How dark to the soul is the onrush of night!
And I ran with the wind in my endless delight,
Till the green and the warm turned to black and decay--
How vain is the groping for yesterday's light!
So the world turned to autumn, and the sun was less bright,
And minds formed the words that tongues feared to say:
How dark to the soul is the onrush of night!
A cloud slowly formed at the edge of my sight,
Like a knife in my gut, and I screamed in dismay,
How vain is the groping for yesterday's light!
But it's over at last and there's rest from my plight,
and I listen to others who shudder and say,
How dark to the soul is the onrush of night!
How vain is the groping for yesterday's light!
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Going back to re-read your work, I see I was wrong. It was the 4th tercet, with the opening and 2nd lines, that used "And" to begin those lines. There was a sprinkling of "ands" throughout, that gave my critical pen pause.
A true privilege and delight to read a poem that follows a traditional form, which has the reader in mind, and which is meaningful for the content.
So many writers seemingly use experimental or free verse as vehicles for their own visions without any care for their reading audience, but then get ruffled feathers when held to task for confusing, incoherent works.
You brought a talent and a skill to the Muse's table with this write, and it was indeed a pleasure to experience this villanelle.
The only very minor thing which gave me pause was the use of the word "And" as the beginning word of three consecutive lines in either the 2nd or 3rd tercet.
But that is such a minor thing, the mastery of the rest of the write far over-shadows anything except its excellence.