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wow Paw Paw this was a great poem I really enjoyed. It makes me think of Carson, Sofia and other babies that seem just like a new addition to the world good poem I love you SOOOO much
Hey PawPaw nice poem man its a good one. I have read almost all and they are great you keep writing and I love you and cant wait to see you again...Haley
OMG! I love this! It is so true! We can touch so many lives through little ways, from a smile to a gift. Every life is special. This was a wonderful write! I love peoms like this, that hold truth, and explain it to those in a poetic way...so beautiful...keep writing! This was awesome!
Anthony, I like this very much. We are all very insignificant when you consider the size of the universe, but very significant in ways we often don't understand or can't know. We affect others and others affect us as you have skillfully pointed out in your poem.......June
Anthony, this is a case where the poem, short as it is, seems too long for the subject. Aphorisms have been penned on the same theme:
"The teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops."
-- Henry Adams
On the other hand, Frank Capra made It's a Wonderful Life on the same theme. So it must have something to do with how you approach it. I think you gave yourself very little room to maneuver. You might have selected an example of one life affecting another, and described that. You have to trust that the message will come through.
I like the way this begins, with a dramatic, somewhat intense attitude. But then it seems to lose its strength, its vitality and becomes very quiet without the imagery one would expect. For all of that, however, it is well-written.
You might want to take a look at the word "effect" in the 4th stanza and consider changing it to "affect."
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