The Microscope
by
Debra Rose
(Age: 23)
copyright 09-12-2008
Age Rating: 18 to 127
She adjusts the slide,
fingers dancing and her eyes
at half lidded,
frown upon full brown lips.
"I can't get it to focus."
I'll take a wild guess
but I'm sure it'd obey if you
gave it a kiss.
Light touches, feather brushes,
she moves the platform under the lens
which is exponentially less interesting
than the thought of my tongue
on her skin.
"I think our microscope isn't working."
"It's unplugged."
"That would make sense."
Dark gold and red suffuse her cheeks
as I
adjust the chord
and give a grin.
"Most common user error."
"I dee ten tee," she elaborates,
slow and drawn out,
her syllables like a whispered shout
and then she's nodding.
Dark eyes the color of night skies
peering through the peepholes of our
all seeing, all magnifying,
scientific device.
"Put it onto BF, you can see the nucleoli,"
she explains.
Our fingers brush across the
biology table
as we switch places.
I look in but only see
the way she
off to the side,
brushes her hair back and sighs.
And realize I would rather be learning
the finer aspects of biology from
the sweet, supple shape of her body
than a microscope.
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I THINK THIS IS A BRILLIANTLY CLEVER PIECE OF WRITING. IT PROVIDES MORE INSIGHT INTO THE CHARACTERS, INCLUDING THE ESSENTIAL MICROSCOPE, THAN PIECES THREE TO FIVE TIMES AS LONG. I CAN PICTURE THE THREE TOGETHER NOW, EACH PAWING FOR ATTENTION AND EXACTITUDE. WHAT BOLDNESS DOES THIS WRITER POSSESS? CERTAINLY ENOUGH TO TAKE THE RISKS NECESSARY TO BOLSTER HER BELIEFS AND EMOTIONS. SHE IS A DETERMINED AND CONFIDENT INDIVIDUAL AND THIS COMES ACROSS IN HER PROSE AND IN RELATIONSHIPS OUTLINED IN THAT PROSE. SHE IS A PONTIFF IN DESCRIBING THOSE THOUGH ASSOCIATION, PARABLE, DESIRE. ABSOLUTELY MARVELOUS IN ABOUT SIX DIFFERENT WAYS. FONDLING A MICROSCOPE IN COMPANY, IS UTTERLY EROTIC. I LOVE IT.
Debra, I really like the juxtaposition of the science lab with the erotica. The sensuality is "magnified" by the microscope as experimenting lab partners gather data, lots of data. To me science is erotic, after all, what is chemistry all about? :) Very nice...June
Bravo! So happy to read you again -missed you and your fine poetry, and this is another excellent one. I consider this erotic, and I love it.
I have trying some erotica myself lately. If you get a chance, drop by my site and let me know how I'm doing.
Thanks again for writing this, I felt it thoroughly.
But this was so sad. Really. Poor guy--and girl, too. I was positive that it would all end happily ever after, so for you to end this with wistful wants made the entire write more powerful. Wonderful choice of words and placement. The texture and movement were SO defined, almost erotic, definitely sensual, but SO innocent. Again, another element adding to the emotional barrage.
(Was she even aware? Descriptions and movements indicate yes, final actions say no.)
Welcome !
