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On Line
Eric Gasparich
Arthur G. Finch
2 Writers

0 Free Members

2 Members
26 Guests

----

Save Me
by Jackie Edwards (Age: 21)
copyright 11-18-2008


Age Rating: 16 to 127

 
Darkness encircles my throat like a noose,
Dangling me dangerously close to the edge.
The dark raven circles, way over my head,
And an owl, in the tree nearby, lets out a shrill hoot.

Dark thunderheads gather within my sight,
Wings like broken glass tickle my skin.
The outside is a reflection of what I feel within,
And lightning dances across the sky.

The cold wind tickles my back,
Daring me to venture closer to the cliff,
To cast myself off, to end all of this.
Resilience to pain holds me steadfast.

Even when my blood runs cold,
Even when my wings are broken -
Even if not a word is spoken,
I see the light, the prize, the gold.

Angels, lift me out of this,
Please hear my passionate plea,
'Save me,' I weep with a mournful heart, 'Save me!
Don't let me fall into this dark abyss.'

I will remember, when hope seems gone,
That not everything is what it seems.
Not everything is but a dream -
Hope will rise, like a phoenix, at the next dawn.




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11-23-2008 Treena Turner    

Jackie this was really fun. I had to read it twice just to make sure I was really swimming in it the way intended for the reader to swim. It took me to a place away from the city lights out of my house and into the night, I think I even heard the owl let out that scary ol' hoot:) You caught me on this one. I enjoyed it very much.

Treena Turner
11-23-2008 Treena Turner    

Beautiful, I was pulled by the reign into the sky of your poem-so much meaning and feeling expressed! Angst, desperation, longing- yet all and all the knowledge of faith and hope, I enjoyed reading this very much.
Thanks for the visuals

Treena
11-21-2008 Arthur G. Finch    

was enchanted as I read your work. The imagery was compelling and for a moment I did not realize that the lines were not rhyming nor the same length. Despite these things it is an interesting poem but could be more powerful If rhythm, meter and length were closer adhered too. Still a very good write.
Visitor Reads: 148
Total Reads: 162
Comments: 3

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