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Bruised and Healing

by Angela Toshner (Age: 24)
copyright 11-22-2008


Age Rating: 10 +

Thank you for being the one I can talk to,
If thatís all you ever are.
My heart will simply be content
Knowing youíre never far.
You hurt me, bruised me to my soul
Tears run down my face even when Iím not crying.
But now that bruise turns yellow
Slowly heals, slowly heals.
I donít want to see you
Or hear you speak my name
This all will take some time for me
Before my trust you can regain.
You know things no one else does
You do not judge who I was.
And though my body may bleed for a while
Itís nice to always know.
That when Iím feeling better
And my cuts all are healed
You will still be there to hear me out
And care about how I feel.






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Total Reads: 509
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        08-18-2010     Leigh Gilholm Fisher        

This poem was very interesting! The storytelling tone in this one was very well presented. I am truly impressed to see how much your writing has improved over the years on PnP. I really hope to read more of your works soon!


~Leigh of the Commenting Community

        12-19-2008     Raja Sharma        

As to the emotion and the diction there is everything perfect in your poem. It does sound sweet and sad, however, I would like you to work on meter and rhyme, and that I know will be perfected with practice.
You seem to be loaded with poetic emotion up to the brim and it seems to be oozing out, but, my friend, if a bit of poetic conceit and tact is applied, keeping the overall form and syntax of the poetic creation, the rough gem begins to glitter.
All the best
Good work
God bless you
Rajasir

        11-30-2008     Richard Reed Jr        

I can't quite figure out if the guy in this poem is a good guy a bad guy or a good guy who hurt you. It's not clear what that hurt was.
I do like the poem. It is full of open-hearted emotion. A lille criticism if you don't mind ~
Perhaps the poem could have a bit more rhythm.

Good Write,

Rich



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