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I Take Chance

by Raja Sharma
copyright 11-30-2008

Age Rating: 10 +
I Take Chance
Picture Credits: Personal Collection

Divide people, mar the race, see dark dance;
Don't ask me to join, for I mere human
Dressed like you, away from you, I take chance.

They gave name, I spoke tongue they said was mine,
This tribe this form that God all came to me,
Then if I borrowed renounce, why they whine?

Leave me alone on my own all I care!
Lost in life, living dead to whole your world!
Let me make place in rhyme for all to share.

Peers will peer from poesy that I write here
Pounce refute reject while you've time now
Pray, don't bring this along when there we near!

30th November 2008

Visitor Reads: 751
Total Reads: 778

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        03-28-2009     Frank Fields        

I've read this several times times, now. More than several to be honest. I wanted to be sure that my comments weren't biased towards my own use of the language. And your presentation is more complex than appears on the surface. I don't really like to analyze a work in the way that a critic would, but it seems that as a teacher, I have little choice.

So...out of a really complicated arrangement of line and rhyme and rhythm, you managed to skillfully bring in some conflicting ideas, some beautiful imagery that operates on an emotional level, and to cry for Independence and acceptance at the same time. Difficult accomplishments, but successful.

Many other impacts, also, but those were the ones which affected me the most.

Thank you. ^^

Frank :)

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