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He Tracked His Death on the Back of His Hand
by Debra Rose (Age: 23)
copyright 03-18-2009

Age Rating: 10 to 127

He tracked his death on the back of his hand
like road maps and planned atlas pathways
or notes to take out the trash--
done in black ink with pointy ends and a
red outline around the date.
There was no convincing him to remove it.
It became a religious symbol, worshiping the
outline in place of God,
giving prayers to the name and oftentimes
forgetting that it had once been a person
and not just ballpoint ink on clammy skin.
I asked him once if it made him feel better.
To look down and see his brother's name
as a constant reminder of that day,
and he just stared at me confused.
I guess joy was an emotion that didn't factor
in to his vocabulary anymore.

He tracked his death on the back of his hand.

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03-20-2009 Richard Reed Jr

A very haunting sad and tragic tale, well-written. A nice smooth structure with subtleness in not revealng the other person until the close.
It's difficult to figure out the workings of the human brain. The pleasure and the pain of life.
Thanks for the good write.

friends,

Rich

03-20-2009 Vanessa Anderson

Loss to many people is many things. "Superficial"? Many of us aren't quite that advanced yet... to be able to let go of the selfish emotion of love. I think your work is a a true statement of just that... your character is human. And human nature is clingy. We don't "love" because it is good for the object of our our affections usually; we love because it feels good to us!! And when it's taken away, especially by death or out of our control we spiral.... like birds with broken wings!!!
I really enjoyed this piece and I will admit that figuratively I have been him. Maybe at one time or another, we all have.

03-18-2009 June Nazarian

Debra - You really had me going for a while thinking he was tracking his own death, very clever. I really like the depth of thought in your poems, they surely do make me think. It is unfortunate when one hangs on to a superficial sign of loss instead of celebrating/remembering the joy and enrichment the person provided. Thanks for a fine work.....June

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He Tracked His Death on the Back of His Hand by Debra Rose (Age: 23) copyright 03-18-2009 Age Rating: 10 to 127

He Tracked His Death on the Back of His Hand
by Debra Rose (Age: 23)
copyright 03-18-2009

Age Rating: 10 to 127