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Victory

by Lauren Turner
copyright 05-16-2009


Age Rating: 13 +
Victory
Picture Credits: http://


Tonight, I am the victor
Today, I was the conqueror
I smiled as the rain poured
and I laughed as thunder rolled.
I fought my enemies.
And I won.

I was the allies, doubtless.
Your side, obviously, the axis.
They tried to flood me out,
but my fortress could hold out.
I fought the axis.
And I won.

I reveled in my glory,
watched you, my archenemy,
Go out in a large bang,
Watched your morale change.
I fought all that was evil.
And I won.

I screamed out curses and hate,
An apology, awkward, too late.
The battle ended in a sour note,
All I left was a bitter quote,
"I fought the one I loved...
and I lost."






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        01-12-2014     Shelby Slivkoff        

Another very powerful piece here. I can almost relate to this. I've dealt with so many that I wanted to destroy, but I merely smiled, and let them know that I won this battle, though they might not think it. But then i read the ending, and I now I understand, and as well I could relate, fighting the one you love is a loss, and I've been through that. Great job with this.

        11-27-2009     Frank Fields        

"I fought my enemies.
And I won.

I fought the axis.
And I won.

I fought all that was evil.
And I won.

"I fought the one I loved...
and I lost."'

These lines, each pair ending a stanza, is an excellent study of reversal of anticipated outcome. And, for the emotional content within each stanza, you carried us on a voyage that assured a "happy ending."

I should have known better and been more careful to not let myself get caught in your talent of words. It was unavoidable, however. Your skillful manipulation of the reader through the language continues to be most impressive.

Outstanding!

Frank :)



        09-24-2009     Cynthia Baello        

So intense and all emotions conveyed rush in conflicting torrents, the reader is swept away by the waves of verses. You wrote the words so effectively the impact on the reader is strong and the last stanza completes the poem excellently.

        06-23-2009     Alan Reed        

To me, this is what writing is all about: outer thoughts put in sync with inner strife. the gut wrenching is made softer by expression in ways only you would know why. I can only guess and it is my pleasure to do it. Thank you for making me think. Thank you for making angels cry. -Alan



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