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Bittersweet and Cold
by
Lauren Turner
copyright 06-17-2009
Age Rating: 10 +
The choice you made, one not of my fault, hurts the most
The person I trusted, the person I loved, now becomes a ghost
My hands can no longer touch you in that way as I did before,
They fall through, knowing that you'll always want someone more,
It hurts to fall below the mark, It always hurts to lose,
But the thing that hurts the most is that I had no way to choose
I couldn't make my choice in the pill I had to swallow,
I had to take your medicine, although it made me feel hollow,
I lost my faith in humanity that day, I lost trust in myself
I told myself not to get used again, I guess my heart couldn't tell
I cried for something I couldn't control, but sorrow gets old,
But I've learned that love will only leave me bittersweet and cold
You said you felt sick that day, you said that it hurt;
But you weren't ever left alone, and that's where I felt worse.
You made me say that I loved you, you built up all my hopes in you;
I guess I was all wrong to dream, and I guess I played the fool,
I was only your placeholder, I was only a puppet for your affections
I was naive, and I was blind, and I never knew your intentions
They say love is a cruel master, but it has such a sweet name,
and how you say you love me now, it just will never be the same,
It's a pathetic consolation to say you'll always be my friend,
and that you feel so sick on the way you had to make it end
I should have stayed vigilant, I should never trust what I'm told,
Because once everything ends, love leaves you bittersweet and cold.
You made a once strong believer quickly become a distrusting skeptic,
It hurts to know that falling in love quickly becomes masochistic,
You indirectly said I wasn't enough, someone else is always better,
I felt so small, so unsafe, so ugly and every sort of displeasure;
You said you were sorry, but I don't know if that was even true,
I don't know why I put so much faith in a human like you.
I feel as if I have no more places to go, so afraid and alone,
I told you I was fine, but I was really screaming for you not to go,
You and I played out our part in the romance film we tried to create,
You stopped the production, found someone to take my role in the play
I know I never was going to be forever, I couldn't fit your mold,
But knowing never stops you from feeling bittersweet and cold.
I was going to give you my forever, but I took off my blindfold,
Only to see that the reality of love is,
that it's bittersweet,
and it's cold.
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Comments on this Article/Poem:
Click on the commenter's name to see their Author's Page
05-26-2010
Leigh Gilholm Fisher
You've gotten quite a lot of good feedback on this poem, and for very good reason; thus I am here to add more!
This was a longer poem, but it flowed perfectly. The emotion was very true and very clear. The story told grabbed the reader's interest in the first mind and it was nearly impossibly to look away until reaching the end. You told the story of a relationship's demise and the agonizing changes it leaves with the person excellent. Beautiful poem, fantastic work. ^-^
~Leigh of the Commenting Community
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12-17-2009
Michelle Hensley
I love it. The emotion in this poem is amazing. I know exactly how you feel. When you lose someone you love, the depression you fall into, it's almost impossible to put ALL of your feelings and emotions into words. I've been there ... more times then I wanted to be. It can't get better with time ... if you spend that time alone. I figured that out the hard way. Anyway, I absolutely love your poem. Excellent job!
-Scribblez
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12-05-2009
Rodger Moyer
Lauren, This is the first poem of yours that I've read but I must tell you that as I read through your beautiful words, the emotion came through like a ton of bricks. Very powerful reality check. Excellent write. Thank you for sharing such deep emotions.
Regards, Rodger
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10-20-2009
Mae Futter Stein
I know it is a shock to the heart and soul, losing a love like you had, but soon another will be in your heart to take the place and all will be great again. It seems like forever, I know, but time heals all. I lend you my shoulder, from someone who's older. Nice poem! Take care sweetie..............Mae
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10-14-2009
Richard Reed Jr
Brrrr, your words make my heart shiver.
I can hear your voice coming through loud and clear. You clearly see the reality of love, the good and the bad. This is a well-written poem with powerful words and phases used like bricks to build a beautiful poem~the best words in the best places. A poem that would be excellent in someone with twice you age. It's good to read you again. You have improved soooooooooooooo
much.
Rich
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10-01-2009
Cynthia Baello
You have an excellent choice of words and the meanings you brought out from them are both incisive and strong. Love indeed "is a cruel master" but has "a sweet name", like a beautiful rose with many thorns. The verses vividly portrayed the loss and the anguished emotions after the departure (betrayal) of Love, and the last lines perfectly tied it all up in painful conclusion. This poem is a work of art!
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08-23-2009
Frank Fields
Like an artist--using your palette of words as a studio artist works the brush and paint--the visions come alive, the images clearly seen. And, as I've come to expect from your talent, a use of the language that is high compliment to that talent.
This is an excellent write.
Frank :)
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08-01-2009
Samantha Powers
Wow...holy monkey...haha can i go jump off a bridge now? it was like emotion after emotion in each line of reading and now i feel guilty as if u were talking to me in general lol but i suppose its true. ive been the made and ive been the maker been on on both sides of this window and i gotta tell u both of them suck....This is a really beautiful poem. one of my new favorites =D
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07-23-2009
Raja Sharma
You do possess a unique quality of weaving poetic lines which encompass a story that really conveys the desired emotion.
This is really a good work.However, I believe that some work could be done on diction.
God bless you.
Rajasir
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07-17-2009
synclaire232
Oh em gee, both ur poems are bang on on what I'm feeling right now and what I felt before! Dude, you're good. I love your writes, do your best and keep writing!
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06-21-2009
Leah G.
I really liked the repetition of "bittersweet and cold" in this piece. However, I felt that you elaborated more on the sad part of love. If love is bittersweet, there has to be some good parts to it, right? I felt like none of that was brought out in the piece, and maybe that wasn't your intention as the author. But I feel that the word bittersweet implies two sides, a sweet one and a bitter one, or in the case of your poem, the ups and downs of love. I feel that this piece might have been a bit too down for my liking. Maybe because it's summer and I'm trying to be happy :P
Well, on to the logistics of the poem. The rhyming was excellent. However, i felt as if the rhythm of the poem was off. The really long lines made it flow a bit worse. Your vocabulary in the poem was alright, and the emotion was great. Good job on this.
whew, that was a long comment, i guess because i haven't commented in a while. I have a new piece, "Nothing Remains." Could you check it out?
Great job with this, sorry if i seemed a bit too critique -y/ish. I felt like writing a good long comment :)
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