Nihal Singh Goes to America
Age Rating: 7 +
Nihal Singh was very happy in New York, for he had made many white friends and whom he called Goras. After about two years he married a girl of Indian origin, though there was some row over the whole affair but finally his parents in Punjab agreed and welcomed the daughter in law.
One day, he decided to go out with his wife. They reached a nice restaurant and took an expensive dinner. After the dinner, Nihal Singh entered the wash room.
He began to wash wash basin. A white gentleman entered the wash room and saw Nihal Singh washing the basin. Out of curiosity he said," What are you doing, Sir?"
"Can't you read? See, it is written here 'Wash Basin' and I am only following the instructions," smiled Nihal Singh.
One evening, he jumped out of his bed and began to look for something in his bedroom.
“What are you looking for?" said his wife.
“I am looking for hidden cameras," said Nihal Singh reproachfully.
“How can there be hidden cameras in our room?" said she.
“You are stupid. Don't you listen that TV fellow has been saying 'You are watching Star Sports' over and again. How does he know that I am watching Star Sports?" said Nihal Singh very assertively.
In this way Nihal Singh passed his days in America.
It was Sunday and Nihal Singh was out with his American friends, most of them his fellow cab drivers. They decided to visit a bar.
Michael, his friend, said to Nihal Singh," Try to occupy some corner seats in the bar. We will be joining you in about half an hour."
Nihal Singh entered the bar with an air of recently acquired superiority and dignity of being the one who was going to make the sitting arrangements.
After about half an hour, Michael and his other friends came there to find Nihal Singh standing outside the bar. He seemed to be very tired and worried.
"What happened? Did you find the seats?" said Michael.
"How can I find corner seats when the bar room is round?"
The friends began to laugh loudly but Nihal Singh was a merely confused spectator.
One day, the temperature in New York City was at its peak and people were trying to find some respite in cold drinks. Nihal Singh also bought a frozen orange juice can and began to stare at it. Two hours passed but he did not open the can. One white cab driver noticed this and came near.
"You have been staring at this juice can for about two hours? Is there something strange?"
" Look, my friend, it says, ‘CONCENTRATE',” beamed Nihal Singh.
Nihal Singh had started reading books about great people by this time. He had spent about two years in America. One day he drove to a village and bought a very small piece of land.
People noticed that every Sunday Nihal Singh would visit that small field and stand in his small field for hours in the sun.
One day, an elderly gentleman dared to ask," I have been watching you for many weeks. You come to your field and stand for hours. What is all this?"
"I am waiting for the Nobel Prize."
"How will you get a Nobel Prize in this field?"
"They say that the Nobel Prize is given to the people who are out standing in their fields," winked Nihal Singh.
Nihal Singh was very popular among his friends, both Indian and American. In the Cab Office everybody liked him. They laughed at his actions and speech. Whatever he did had something funny for his colleagues.
One morning he visited a local store. He saw a shining object there. He said to the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replied, "That is a thermos flask."
Nihal Singh said, "What does it do?"
The clerk responded, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
Nihal Singh said, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walked into work with his new thermos.
His boss saw him and said, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then said, "What does it do?"
He replied, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
Nihal Singh said proudly, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
One day it was really too much and no one in the office left untouched by the innocence of my good friend Nihal Singh. Even the passengers in his cab showed mixture of laughter and sympathy for the poor fellow. The incident follows:
Nihal Singh with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
“Oh Dear!” The doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But...What happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."
Nihal Singh was very lucky and he often won prizes and gift coupons. Once his luck favoured him enormously.
Nihal Singh buys a lottery ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.
Nihal Singh says, "I want my $20 million."
The man replied, "No, Sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."
Nihal Singh said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."
Again, the man explained that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.
Nihal Singh, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my 1 dollar back!"
My good friend Nihal Singh is the youngest of three brothers. His two elder brothers had settled down in Canada long before he came to America. Nihal Singh liked to drink beer and very often he would visit the nearest bar in his locality in New York.
On first day when Nihal Singh walked into the bar in New York, he ordered 3 glasses of beer and sat in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished, he came back to the bar counter and ordered 3 more.
The bartender said to him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time."
Nihal Singh replied, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. They are in Canada and I'm here in New York. When they left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together."
The bartender admitted this is a nice custom and left it there.
Nihal Singh became a regular in the bar and would always drink the same way. He'd order 3 Beers and drink them in turn.
One day, he came in and ordered only 2 Beers. All the other regulars noticed and fell silent.
When he came back to the bar for the second round, the bar tender said," I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss."
Nihal Singh looked confused for a moment, and then he laughed.... "Oh, no, “he said, "Everyone's fine; both my brothers are alive. The only thing is................. I just quit drinking!”
During the period while he was driving taxi, he tried many times to find a job in any kind of office where he could go all suited booted.
Once he was called for an interview.
Interviewer: Give me the opposite words.
Nihal Singh: Ok
Interviewer: Made in India
Nihal Singh: Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer: Keep it up
Nihal Singh: Throw it down
Interviewer: Maxi Mum
Nihal Singh: Mini Dad
Interviewer: Enough! Take your Seat
Nihal Singh: Don't take my seat
Interviewer: Idiot! Take your Seat
Nihal Singh: Clever! Don't take my Seat
Interviewer: I say you get out!
Nihal Singh: You didn't say I come in
Interviewer: I reject you!
Nihal Singh: You appoint me
One day Nihal Singh visited a friend’s house. Nihal Singh was in a Brand New - Red Ferrari.
His friend Gora Singh: “Wow Nihal Singh! What a Car! Where did you get it from?”
Nihal Singh: “I was on the Main highway, asking for a lift. A white girt stopped her car and asked me if I wanted a ride.”
I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me, "Mr. Singh. Take anything."
Gora Singh was quite excited and said, “What did you do?”
Nihal Singh: “I took this car.”
Gora Singh: “You did right because the clothes wouldn’t have fitted you.”