Comments on this Article/Poem:
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05-02-2010
Leigh Gilholm Fisher
This was interesting, and you told the story in this piece very well. The descriptions added to the overall feel of the piece, the image you selected was quite fitting, and the title is very eye catching. It has a unique sound that holds to the theme very well.
All in all, good work!
~Leigh of the Commenting Community
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04-27-2010
Susan Brown
Hi Mae,
Okay here comes some constructive "advice" for thought. The tittle looks strange and confusing. I think that's an easy fix. If you wanted to keep the strange (the unusual) and ditch the confusing you could say, Friend, Lonely. I think titles are fun because they rest/set apart from the work and can be almost anything. The subject matter is very interesting. The poor, poor, pitiful hobo. I've always been a little jealous of hobo's because they get to travel much more than I do. Ah, sad but true! You've cast this one in a more realistic view. Tattered and worn with no real place in society or home. Now I'm blowing my nose. Another couple suggestions, dig to dug, their clothes had many rips worn thin, rather than some. Either word works, but many paints his persona all the clearer. Anyhow, there are many parts of this I like. Hope you don't mind me adding my spin to your verse. You portrayed a sincere drama for my mind to explore. Poor, poor, pitiful, homeless, hobo men. I don't know how to rate this, so I won't until you mess with it a some more. The photo fits nicely.
Susan
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