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Dragging Feet

by Emily Valle (Age: 24)
copyright 08-16-2010


Age Rating: 10 +

I hung at your feet, begging you please,

I held on tight, dropped to my knees.

I look behind me and see marks on the ground,

Where you dragged me along, I hear the scraping sound.

The sounds of my pleas and cries,

Of my repeated "Whys?"

I see my arms where they clung to you, It's what they long to do,

If you only knew, I wish that you knew.

I see the tears in puddles on the floor,

Seeing how much I cried makes it hurt even more.

Finally you break free of my shaking hands,

I let you go this time, though I don't understand.

I see you walking farther away,

In the distance your image starts to fade.

I see myself, I'm still on the floor,

Your feet aren't here for me to cling to anymore.

So I stand up and I dust off,

I feel wiser although I have lost.

I lost you and a piece of me,

But I walk on to see what life will be.

Though deep down in my heart,

I'll be routing for you though we'll be apart.

I see my reflection in my puddle of tears like a mirror,

And each day that I look my life gets slightly clearer.

I hope one day you too will see,

But no longer will your feet drag me.






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        01-05-2011     Mylinda Rives        

Dragging Feet is a interesting poem.
I hang on to every word as I read it.
It is very realistic and tragic too.
Your wording is easy to read and not overly complicated, you get your point across to the reader. It is a very good poem, keep on writing.

        11-04-2010     Leigh Gilholm Fisher        

So vivid! The expressiveness in all of your works is always very impressive, and always makes for an interesting read. This poem was so tragic, and the writing was very beautiful. Excellent work!


~Leigh of the Commenting Community

        09-12-2010     Raja Sharma        

This is undoubtedly a praiseworthy effort if I take your years into account but as to poetry one thing always be kept in mind that poetry is not only composing the lines which present pleasing end rhyme.

Structure and metrical arrangement play a pivotal role in poetry, and secondly diction ought to be very precise. Please don't use the very first word which you feel fits the scheme. Pause and assess the emotion which you want to convey.

I like the way you write.

Robert Green used to say, "Colleges are places where pebbles are polished but diamonds are dimmed."

I quote this line because in poetry there is a term called "poetic license" which gives full liberty to a poet to present the lines according to own wishes, breaking prescriptive norms.

I would suggest to you to please go through T.S.Eliot's essay "Tradition and Individual Talent" and I am sure that you will find all that you miss at present.

God bless you
Rajasir



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