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by Jeanette Foresta
My life at the beach house started to change the June before last when my beloved canine companion Bubba died, he was seventeen. Shortly afterwards we were told we had to move out of the house we were renting by the beach, for it was sold. I knew that day would be coming so I was determined to buy a house of my own this time, and by another beach. Even though we didn't have much money to do it.
So I laid myself down and placed my thoughts upon the airwaves. The I envisioned the white light coming out of my gut, and as the pink colors of the apricot morning sun washed over my eyes, I asked the powers that be for what I wanted, I said, "universe, send me my beach house," in the thought I imagined it was a beach house with the late afternoon sun streaming in through the windows illuminating me in cadmium yellows, and scarlet reds, I placed my order into the cosmos's and I got it, only I should have asked for a house with less renovations perhaps. But, I am not complaining, I walk to the beach every day given the weather, and I'm happier then I have been in a long time. Have you ever walked on the beach in the snow? It is like walking in a snow globe, it's heady and surreal, and usually warmer then land.
It has been over a year, and we still have no kitchen. I finally got a hotplate and microwave so I have stopped ordering out so much. I have finally lost the full twenty pounds I gained when I quit smoking. But it took a year to gain it , and 9 months to lose it, and worth it.
On another note, many a wise men have said, when you give to others in an unselfish way, you will also receive. I figured since I was getting what I wanted, I wanted to give back some how, so I asked for a job no one else wanted figuring this would get me more of what I needed from life somehow.
I decided I wanted a job in which I could affect peoples lives in a helpful way. No grandiose ego involved. I placed my order into the cosmos, and asked for a job with the people who no one else would even think of working with, the worse off the better.
I had a little gig typing poetry for a Greek Poet. Then I went for this other job at a bus company near my house, but had no idea it was for the disabled people. The job as an matron was good for me to start getting back out into the world. So I help them on and off the bus. Even the universe knows what I can really handle better then I do, the job is easy and I sit and read in between. I treat them with respect and dignity. They are good people, and not all that mentally handicapped. I remember wishing I could get a job in the school itself. However, the universe is not giving me that, even though I filled out two applications. Perhaps I was glorifying the job. One of the workers there quit, said it was not a good place to work, so, I am being saved yet again.
On my new Van in the front seat there is Ken. Every morning I try to psychically guess what is in his lunch bag. It is a standing offer. It is not just a regular lunch bag though. Ken is a big guy so he has a book bag for it his lunch, and I always seem to get the guessing wrong. Then I act like it weights a ton when I have to load it on the van and make believe I am doing a workout with it.
In the summer I used to squirt them with my spray bottle because we had no air conditioner on the bus, so I had ice water and sprayed them, and Ken in retaliation would try to get his walker on my feet, then tell me I had big feet. Then when he would say he was going to be out the next day, I'd say, "good, now we can fit two more in your spot!" Oh, he would howl!
One day Ken gave me a blue heart he had made by himself, it's posted on the bottom. It was very touching, especially since I was writing my poems on various shades of the color blue, and I had just wrote My Phthalo Blue, and Neon Blue poems at the time. Him giving me a blue heart was very strange, in that it had a double meaning, a heart usually is red, why blue? It was happy, yet sad, and perhaps he has a crush on me.
Then there is Tim the Tornado, that is what I call him, and the others laugh it up when I say it. He comes out in a big hurry then stops and tells me he shaved this morning, then he stomps his 6'5" clumsy self on the bus like a storm. The women cringe as he flops down next to them fearing he will elbow one of them. But, he never does, he is a gentleman and cleanly shaved.
Then there is Leslie, she calls me Michele. That is also strange to me because I had a good friend named Michele, but, her real name was Nicole. Now my granddaughters name is Nicole, and my mother calls her Michele, (she never knew my friend,) then says, why do I call her that, and I did once too. But to Leslie, I am Michele, so I let it be. She goes on to tell me what she ate every morning. I say, 'very nice' a lot.
Then there are the lovers, Edith, and Bob, always the love affairs come into the picture. One day she loves him, the next day she is cursing him out. She has her own name for me too, she calls me Jennifer, which is odd because that is my daughter's name. She gave us some advice yesterday, she said, if people don't like you to tell them to "kiss your ass!" hahaha, I looked at her and asked, have you been reading my poetry?
So I said all this to say what? Ask and you shall receive. Try it, it all starts with just one thought.
I know this sounds too simplistic in our complicated world. What if you don't know what you want?
You know those thoughts in the middle of the night that say, I wish I had this or that, then in the same thought you are thinking you will never have it? You cannot do that! You have to believe you will get what you want by visualizing it, smelling it, tasting it. Put your order out into the positive airwaves, and the positive will flow back. The minute you think, no, I can't, or, I'll never, you are stopping it from happening. Then you have to do something towards that goal.
How to know what you want? It is that which causes you a small but measurable amount of pain that you feel if you overcame it, you would be okay. The obstacle does not need to be conquered, it needs to be bypassed, flown over. Old thought processes need to be replaced by New ways of thinking.
We have a habit of even stopping our free thought process with fears of past, or even imagined phobias, dogmas, and even histories. Now with all of the terrorism in the airwaves, we will have to just shut off the TV too. We can hear what happened once or twice a day. No need to watch it all day long. The newscasters have jobs alright, and you are there wasting your time and energies watching them make money. If you want personal change, you need to be able to focus on yourself with little distraction as possible, and no negative people or vibes in your life.
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