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I was down in Denver last spring,
to catch me a little action.
So I pulled on into the Grizzly Rose,
to get a little boot-scoot satisfaction.
I showed ‘em my license at the door,
and paid my entry fee,
then I sidled myself up to the bar,
and this cowboy buys a beer for me.
Well, we gets to talkin’ ‘bout this and that,
and we go out to do a step or two.
We waltzed a couple, swung east and west,
and shined buckles like cowboys do.
Somewhere in there, the band tuned up,
they played “The Cotton Eyed Joe”.
After that, we had to catch our breath,
so they played something soft and slow.
Came a time when everyone,
started to gather in a line.
I didn’t know about no one else,
but I felt like a calf at feeding time.
Them folks called it the “Apple Jack”,
I dubbed it the “Conniption Fit”.
They all looked like they was having the same seizure,
but they thought they was “it”.
I managed to slink my way back to the bar,
I sat there sucking my suds.
When the ‘ol boy comes back all sweating and panting,
and glares at me over his Bud.
“You left me out there all alone!”
(He shoulda been drinkin’ whine.)
“You had forty people dancing with you,
and I wasn’t keeping good time.”
“Nobody cares if you do it wrong.
You didn’t have to leave.”
I said, “Real cowboys don’t line dance,
‘cuz there’s no one around to lead.”
“No one there to follow,
no one to get close to,
Real cowboys don’t line dance,
but I’ll dance again with you.”
The lights flickered off and on,
the place was shutting down.
That’s the signal for last call,
so he bought us one more round.
He looked at me with bedroom eyes,
“Honey, can I take you home?”
Now there’s one thing that this cowgirl does,
she goes home ALONE.
So I looked at him and smiled real sweet,
“So you’re looking for romance?
Well, you had forty other partners out there,
I’m sure one of them would like to dance.”
December 27, 2001
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