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You don't understand, officer
No one from here called.
I can't understand why
You all came rushing down,
With your lights flashing blue and red
Pulled guns at your side!
You simply don't understand
I have nothing to hide.
My wife?
Why she's resting, sleeping off a drunk.
Didn't the caller tell you,
She has a problem with the drink?
Never knows when enough is enough?
Sometimes in fact,
And I feel so ashamed to say
She....she....
No I simply can't tell you
Why?
Because it's my shame to hold,
My shame to carry,
It's simply my load.
Alright then
Since you refuse to leave,
Here are the sordid details
I'll let you fill in the blanks,
As I tell you the tale
Of a love gone bad
And a woman who is not the one I married.
When she's had a few, you see
She gets that temper going,
Screams at me saying all sorts of horrible things!
Then when my back is turned,
Because officer, I do try to walk away
I know she isn't right in the head when she's drunk
So, where was I?
Oh right,
When my back is turned she hits me,
Until my knees buckle and I fall to the ground.
Then the tears fall,
Hot and heavy,
Such shame a man like me must carry
Bet you never heard such a tale before!
Can you see her?
No sir, I'm sorry,
As I said, she's resting off the latest drunk,
Passed out in the chair with her mouth open,
Breathing out those toxic fumes,
Stinking up the house,
But what can a man like me do?
My children?
Well Officer, they are sound asleep too,
Like the dear angels they are.
In fact, I came home tonight to see
That the house was clean and sparkling ,
Even though I only asked them twice,
In the most polite manner too.
After all, I didn't swear once at them,
Seeing how they are only 3 and 4 years old
Innocent angels when they are sleeping.
Too bad they aren't so innocent when awake!
Oh, did I say that out-loud?
I really mean, they are so full of energy.
Sometimes a dad has to do
As a dad has to do
You know what I mean, I'm sure you do.
You look like a good family man, Officer,
I'm sure you sometimes have to raise your voice
A decimal or two,
To remind those brats, I mean those lovely children
Who is the boss of the house.
Well Officer,
I'm proud of our fighting force!
Proud that you'd take time to check up on my home,
Ensure it's safety.
But as I said,
It's my shame to carry
That I'm crazy in love with a drunk,
Who hits me until I fall
But what can a man do when he's a fool
Deeply in love?
Goodbye Officer,
It's been a pleasure to talk with you.
But as I said,
No one from here called.
As the door shuts,
And the police car drives away,
I turn to face the aftermath of another crazy day.
I mutter,
Goodbye Officer,
It's been such a pleasure to talk with you,
But as I said
No one from here called
Because
Everyone is dead.
On those dark tones
I walk through the room.
Placing the gun back into it's case
Grab my keys
Walk away.
Never again will they refuse,
To listen to the man.
Never again will they refuse,
To hear what I have to say.
Goodbye Officer,
Have a nice day!
© 2001
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