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Beginnings, Middles, Endings
by Nancy Pawley
copyright 02-25-2002


Age Rating: 18 to 127

 
Alex and I were both part of the witness protection program. He had been a mob informant and I was his girlfriend. Alex had sung like a canary in front of the grand jury, but still treated me like shit, even after the Justice Department had said we could be married. I was under the impression that being his wife was the only way I could stay alive.

The last night we were together he had murder in his eyes. He stared at my pale unwashed face, streaked with the thoughts of a million years. The portals of my soul were wide open to his utter dismay. His gaze was deeply penetrating, my eyes dispassionate, blank and haunted. He backhanded me across my mouth, screaming out his words again. " You stupid Bitch, you've embarrassed me for the last time! " I expected nothing less after I refused to sleep with his biggest client, who offered him a 10 million dollar account for the pleasure of my company.

Alex struck me with a one, two uppercut blow. He landed his last punch for good measure, sending me sprawling. My head didn't take kindly to his fists or the hardwood floor as familiar stale secrets rudely waltzed through my mind. They are like the dazzling white ballgowns I used to wear to coming out cotillions in high school and college. They pose a problem, though..they are no longer elegant, beautiful with luminescent beaded designs. They are much like me, unpolished and unpoised, with no flowing grace. We are both heavily stained, caked with the dead weight of a mummified mudslide.


Meeting Loki


My soul rises in lemon-torture from my slack, stupified body. I slowly descend a steep winding staircase on a downward journey to my final destination.
" Welcome to your very own personal, one of a kind
' Grand Inquisition. ' My name is Loki..the great god of internal discord, just in case you might be wondering. "

I have become a fellow-trekker as he takes me with him to his demonic dimensions.
We tred with shoeless feet, down an endless road of rocks and snares. Loki is jubilant.
" Do you see who's come to join us? My best of friends. " He introduces them one by one.
" This is Discontentment..he deals in dissatisfied unhappiness.This next bloke is Discouragement..he's known for loss of motivation, lack of confidence, and fading optimism. And last, but not least, Disappointment..he sure can sadden and frustrate! "

He hands me a bill for my travel expenses. The list includes filling every inch of my being with hopelessness, desperation, and frustration. " Of course there are the extras, " he says as he squelches the last dying ember of my uncorrupted innocence.

I look at him in disbelief. " How do you expect me to pay for this? "

" That's a tough one, for sure! " He laughingly condemns my unheard, droning confessions. " In my final judgement, I find you guilty of numerous inborn sins. " His gavel reverberates throughout my brain. " Freak, Curiosity! " He pierces my eardrums.
" You are hardheaded and obstinate, a spend-thrift who squanders her time.Your morose misery is concealed within your shameful cement shoes. Your total bull-headed addiction has laid this burden squarely upon your shoulders! " He imposes the prison sentence of itemized isolation. " This should break that haughty, arrogant spirit of yours."

Am I truly deserving of my just rewards? I plunge into a retrograde of collective confoundments. My brass-polished coffin visibly appears before the near-side of my unbeliving comprehension..a silk-lined crimson chamber which will house my transitory temporal soul.


An Escape


My consciousness returned in a depth charge detonation of firebright hellish explosions..camera flashes again and again. Is it real or just another one of my myriad delusions?

I forced my aching naked body to the bathroom, hoping for a release from the prison cell I had created of my own freewill. This was the first time that Alex had knocked me into unconsciousness..and it would definitely be the last. My loving husband believed that I was finally broken, a ruined woman compelled to bend to his will. My thoughts on the subject rang bright with crystal clarity. I dressed with haste, quickly putting a few essentials into a small bag. I would leave Alex high and dry. Thank god I had enough sense to keep money in a bank account under an assumed name. The time was going on 3am. I called my only real
friend and told her I was on my way to her house. She had begged me to leave Alex on numerous occassions. Jessica knew the right people to contact in order for me to leave the country with a false passport and papers. I walked to the safe where Alex kept a goodly stash of money, knowing it should be more than enough to get me where I needed to go. I wonder who I'll be?

When I arrived at her door, I saw a goodlooking man standing behind her. He smiled when Jess introduced him as ' My brother. ' No names were mentioned, which is all well and good for both of us.

" The camera is set up in the den..I just need a few face shots of you. Give me one hour to get everything in order. " I sat for a few minutes, then went to find Jessica so he could develop my pictures and forge my passport and documents.

In the kitchen, Jessica had made a hot steaming pot of coffee for us to drink. " Thanks, Jess..you're the best. " I gave her a bearhug.

She said, " You've always been there for me, and this is just a small favor which doesn't begin to cover anything. I've come up with a plan to make it look like you're dead, so Alex won't come searching for you. My brother is going to take your car and drop it off at the marina where you and Alex keep your boats. He knows a lot about explosives..he'll rig the cutter and use a remote control device to blow it up over open water. I'll pick him up while you're on your way to.." she smiled. " Everyone will assume that you took the boat in order to get away from Alex for a few days..I can always mention that you called me and said you were going to your cabin at Grey Dolphin Cove. " She held out her hand, palm up. " Purse, please. "

I gave her my bag with keys to the apartment, my car, and the boats we owned, along with every bit of my old identity inside. I've kept my other bank card on my person in order to transfer my funds to a numbered Swiss account once I'm settled in. Jess went to the den and returned with a new purse. She kissed me on my cheek. " I've called a taxi to come pick you up and take you to the airport. " She slid an envelope into my hand. " Just a little something to tide
you over. " A horn honked as the cab made its presence known.
" I love you, Jess, " Jessica was my witness protection program contact. She had done this for me out of the goodness of her heart. On the way to the airport, I dumped everything out of my new purse. My name is Sara Rossman, and I have a ticket to Montreal, Canada. My papers state I'm the proud owner of SR Detective Agency, and have been in the US on official government business. There are legitimate credit cards, marked keys and an address book. Jess had thought of everything. The envelope itself contains $10,000. The plane rolled off the runway at 8am without a hitch.

A week after I've settled in I turned on the tv and the last part of my funeral was being played out on the six o'clock news. The priest talked to all my friends and relatives. " I would ask you to call on your unfailing faith, unlocking your vastly overflowing storerooms. Your wife.. " He looked directly at my husband," can faintly hear immortal angelic voices, beseeching as they pray their Kyrie Eleison, their never ending Angelus at morning, noon, and night.

Angel Of The Lord have mercy
Angel Of The Lord have mercy
Angel Of The Lord have mercy upon her soul .

BEGINNINGS

Carson O'Connor walked past the reception area, not waiting to be shown into my private office by my secretary. He slammed the door behind him. " You'd best tell me what's going on, Blaine! " I trusted Carson with my very life..he was and had always been privy to all my secrets. We were best friends, as well as being cousins. I knew he was royally pissed when he called me by a name I no longer thought of as my own. He slung a small box my way. " Open this and explain! "

I rolled my eyes. " It's best to let sleeping dogs lie, Carson. Blaine no longer exists
for any of us. "

" That's not what anyone thinks now..Sara! "

Whatever was in that package must be worse than bad news. I removed the lid, then jumped back as if a rattlesnake had struck me! " Hellfire and double damnation..where the shit did you get these pictures? " I was horrified, not at the nudity or explicit poses, but by the fact I was the one who was exposed in her birthday suit.

" It gets better by the minute..as if you didn't know. What were you thinking when you let that son-of-a-bitch take these pictures of you? Weren't you the least little bit embarrassed, Blaine? " Carson came up behind me and typed in a web address on my computer keyboard.

" Would you be referring to that piece of crap I had the non-pleasure of being married to for 5 years? " A lewd internet e-zine presented many more naked photos for all computer owners with a credit card to see. A sinking feeling sucker punched me and I felt physically ill. Just when my life was getting back to a sense of normalcy.." Carson, calm down for a minute..we've known each other for years, and I've never kept any secrets from you. You know better than to think I would do anything like this. " I went back to the e-zine's homepage..Alex was listed as the photographer who had submitted the photos. On closer inspection I saw that text went along with each photo. The words were a first stanza to one of my original poems, adding insult to injury. Alex was the only one who had access to anything I had written. A portrayal of what I wanted to do in and with my life came across loud and clear, even though it was a pack of lies.

And she stood right there before him
In all her shining glory
Only asking that the pages in her history
Should start with this beginning

" I'd love to get my hands around that bastard's scrawny neck!? " Carson's face turned purple with rage. " Well, Sara..are you going to daydream or tell me what's going on? " Carson sat down and put his face close to mine.

" Carson, nothing that you see here was done with my consent or knowledge. " My overwhelming emotions had left me numb, while my nerves were stripped as raw as my body had been. " Alex is very capable of many brands of revenge! The last night I spent with him he wanted me to sleep with his richest client so he could snag the biggest account of his miserable life. " I breathed deeply. " Alex beat me numerous times, but he said my non-compliance on this issue was the straw that broke the camel's back. It only took a few blows for him to knock me out cold. He had plenty of time to humiliate me, but never had the time to put his plans into action because he thought I was dead, but why do it now? " A horrific thought came to mind.
" Does Uncle Devon know? "

" It's doubtful Blaine, but the shit will hit the fan soon enough. Somebody will be bound to see this layout and ask him all kinds of unanswerable questions. First on our list is to tell him everything..I'll do that. "

" There's too much is at stake here, Carson. Find out what Alex has up his sleeve. "
I snorted. " You know how much he relys on you. "

The intercom buzzed. " Ms. Rossman, a messenger is here to see you. "

" I'll be there in a minute. " Carson sat and waited.

I came back in with a worried frown on my face. " What's wrong, Blaine? "

" Read this and weep! " I handed him the message, knowing that Alex wanted to draw me out into the open. ' S, Alex knows you're alive. J '

" What are we going to do,Carson? "
Middles


I entered the lobby of the newly renovated Downtown Dunairre Hotel on 53rd Avenue. I bypassed the desk and walked at a fast clip to the row of elevators. It was going to take a few minutes worth of time before I would be able to board one, as they were all on the higher floors. I wondered if it might be faster to take the stairs, but decided to wait, tapping the toe of my black 9 West low-heeled shoe.

I glanced at my watch. " Good enough, " I thought. I breathed deeply, relaxing before my next appointment. The bell dinged and I squeezed tightly into the small compartment along with the other passengers. I thanked my lucky stars I didn't have the slightest hint of claustrophobia. Men, women, and children got off at their respective floors and I was left alone. I smiled to myself, checking my lack of makeup in the compact mirror I held. I untied the sash on my trenchcoat and fluffed my curly blond hair.

The elevator stopped at the penthouse suite, and I was met by my client. He looked as good as ever, but I was way beyond that phase of my life. I took the smooth hand he offered, walking into the familiar surroundings. " Have a seat. " He pointed to the Italian leather chair which faced the matching couch. Not much had changed since the last time I had been here. The coffee table had one manilla envelope on the glass top. " Would you care for anything to drink Ms.Rossman..coffee, tea, scotch and water perhaps? "

" No, thank you. " My gaze was steady, and I knew that the brown contacts I wore were perfect. Hiring a voice coach had been a stroke of genius. I knew the man sitting across from me would not be able to detect an accent of any kind.

He withdrew papers and photographs, spreading them out before me. " I've heard from reliable sources that you're the best in the business. These are the pictures and a short bio of the woman I want you to find. " The face which stared at me, the black as midnight hair, hazel green eyes, and red pouty lips..we had been acquainted for years. I picked up the page which told me all my client thought I should know in order to get the job done.

" And if I accept? "

He opened a small briefcase filled with stacks of $100 bills. " 1 million now, and another million when you bring her to me. " I took the money from him.
" You have 48 hours in which to find Blaine Marshall. "

He walked me to the elevator, and I was met by his right-hand man. " Mr. O'Connor will escort you down. " He pressed a button and in minutes we were on the sidewalk.

Carson had the doorman hail me a taxi.." Driver, take the lady to Lagunas. " I could change there with no one being the wiser. There was no telling who Alex might have watching my every move. I knew his way of thinking..if Sara Rossman could lead him to Blaine Marshall, then he wouldn't have to shell out any more money for services rendered. A blonde in a trenchcoat would be going in and a redhead wearing a white frilly blouse and leopard print skirt would be coming out. The car pulled up to the ritzy restaurant. I paid the fare, tipping the driver $50.

The door whooshed, and I was enveloped by cool air and the wonderful smells of the house specialty. LaShrimp Lagunas..breaded fried shrimp drizzled in cocoanut and pineapple juices. Jeffrey, the head waiter, knew Carson very well, and I followed him to Carson's usual table near the kitchen door. It would be an easy slip through the pots, pans, and chefs to the alley. He wrote down my order and came back a few minutes later bearing a tray with the house specialty and unsweetened tea. Jeffrey always took care of Carson's lady friends. " If anyone should ask about me, you know the rules. " I took five $100 bills from my purse and pressed them into his hand.

Jeffrey went about his business, whistling a tune with a smile on his lips. I ate my lunch, reading the two page report, while glancing at the images and the memories they conjured. It told me nothing I didn't already know: age, weight, height, likes, dislikes, places I frequented, the clothes and perfumes I liked to wear.

Jeffrey had supplied me with access to the employee's keyed lockers, having made me a copy of the masterkey. I unlocked # 43, drawing out my wig and clothes. I walked to the last stall, removed everything that could arouse suspicion, and dressed in my new outfit. I adjusted my red pageboy wig, and slipped on dark sunglasses. Everything I had worn went into a paper bag which I stuffed into the bottom of the trash bin. I wound my way past cooks and stoves, avoiding the dumpsters in the short alleyway, then turned left onto 52nd Avenue. I strolled leisurely, just another face in the throng of people headed home from work.

One last contact and all things would equal out. Ben's cabstand was right around the corner. With any luck, I could be on my way in minutes.

" Damn! " Nothing available. The blaring horn across the street caught my attention, and bittersweet thoughts faded like bluejeans washed on a daily basis. " Where to, Lady? " The burly cabbie asked. The stench of cigar smoke hung heavy in the air. Sheer perfection. The odor would cling to my clothes, just reinforcing the idea that I had spent the afternoon in the boardroom with the moguls who ran DecoWorx, LTD.

" Nottingham Financial Towers, please. " The radio was tuned to soft rock. Celine Dion sang, " When you need it the most, there's no easy way out. " That was so true in my case.

The cab double parked in front of the ultra modern building. I looked at the amount on the meter, and handed the driver $100 for a $25 ride. " Gee, thanks, Lady, you can ride with me anytime you like! " He tipped his baseball cap and roared off down the street.

The 19th floor beckoned, as my heart raced and my breathing quickened. The President of Quartermaine Diversified Banking met me at his private office. " Ms. Rossman, what can I do for you this afternoon? " He closed the door for privacy. I knew Devon Quartermaine was a man who took his business dealings seriously.

He stepped back abruptly when I kissed him on the cheek. " Uncle, I'm so glad that you agreed to see me on such short notice. " I slipped off my red wig, my raven tresses cascading around my shoulders.

Devon Quartermaine smiled in delight, then hugged me to him. " Carson said I would be in for a huge surprise today. " He had tears in his eyes. " Why did you let everyone close to you believe you were dead? And why in heaven's name are you pretending to be Sara Rossman? "

" Have a seat, Uncle Devon. This might take some time. "

He picked up his phone. " Cancel this afternoon's 4 o'clock meeting. Reschedule it for Monday morning. " He turned to face me, taking my hands in his. " Tell me what's going on. "

I explained the events which had shaped my life..both past and present. I paced back and forth as I talked. " I accepted the fact I could never come home, but life has been known to throw you a curve ball when you least expect it! This past May I got a tip from a reliable source that Alex assumed I wasn't dead and was putting out feelers to detective agencies across the USA and Canada. I made a decision to confront him..as Sara Rossman, of course. " Devon didn't seem the least bit pleased by that bit of knowledge. " He's paid me $1 million dollars cash upfront and expects me to deliver myself to him in 48 hours. " I handed my Uncle a stack of bills from the briefcase. " Alex is one tricky bastard, that's for sure. Could these bills be counterfeit? "

Devon left his office for a few minutes.When he came back, he said, " No news is good news, Blaine. They are the work of a pro, but fake through and through." He spoke into the intercom. " Get me Ryan Andrews. " He put his hand over the mouthpiece. " Ryan owes me a favor, and I want to help you bring Alex to his knees. "

Even though a lengthy conversation ensued, Devon didn't divulge details about my former or current identity. I would be spending the evening in my Uncle's private office, which had a room off to the side with a pull out couch. We would be meeting Andrews the next morning at his residence in Winston Harbor.

" Uncle Devon, there's one more piece to the puzzle. " I gave him the e-zine address, and told him I was going to the ladies room to freshen up. I didn't want to see the disapproval or disappointment in his eyes.

When I returned, the computer was back at it's former page. " Blaine, when I talked to Carson this afternoon, he told me about this sleazy article. I'm sorry that there are men in this world willing to do anything for easy money. " Devon put his arm around my shoulders.

Devon's executive secretary brought sandwiches and coffee. " I hear you're a grandfather now. I always hoped to have babies, but being married to Alex quashed that idea. " I shivered. " Alex definitely wouldn't qualify as father or parent material. I haven't allowed myself to get close to anyone since my 'death'. "

" You're a strong woman, Blaine. One of these days you'll find a man who can give you everything you want and need in this life. " He glanced at his watch. " I have to leave, but I'll return at 8am. Get a good night's rest. " Devon kissed my cheek.

I tossed and turned, finally waking up at 7am. I had just finished adjusting the red wig and putting on appropriate make-up when Uncle Devon unlocked the door to his office.
" Are you ready to meet Ryan Andrews? "

Devon drove us to Winston Harbor where we met Ryan Andrews at his houseboat, berthed in slip 27. He sat in a deck chair, coffee cup in hand. He wore cutoffs, his back and chest bronzed, brown hair streaked blond by the sun. I never knew him by name, but did recognize him immediately as the man who had given me life as Sara Rossman. He got up when he saw us. " Mr. Quartermaine, it's nice to see you again. " They shook hands.
" Shall we ? " He led the way down to a small, but tidy living area.

" I owe Devon a bigtime favor and I'm a man who always pays his debts. " Ryan nodded at Devon. " He helped me recover a huge amount of money from an unscrupulous investment company, underwritten by Alexander Marshall, Amalgomated. "

" Yes, I know all about Alex Marshall. He's a scam artist extraordinaire and a sly dog who usually has his back covered. " I gave Ryan a hard stare, but kept what I knew about him to myself.

Devon handed a cellphone and piece of paper to Andrews. He scanned the information, then held out his hand to me. " It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Rossman. " Ryan winked at me and then dialed the number. " Yes, Alex Marshall, please. " He held the line for a minute. " Mr. Marshall, we've managed to locate your wife. " He listened while Alex gave him instructions, then gave the phone back to my Uncle. " We're supposed to meet him at his wife's cabin, Grey Dolphin Cove this afternoon at one. "

" Then that's what we'll do, as I have the info that Alex wants. Ryan, I need you to pose as my associate." I didn't let on to my Uncle that Ryan and I had dealt with each other before. " From what I know about Mr. Marshall, he has very little faith in the human race as a whole, and none whatsoever where women are concerned. " I smiled at Ryan.
" Devon says you have a boat that we can use. "

" I have a 16 ft. speedboat that should get us to the cove and back with no problems. " Ryan looked pleased as punch. " Miss Bee should be ready to rock'n'roll by noon. "

My Uncle rose. " I'm trusting Ms. Rossman to you, Ryan. Take good care of her. "

Ryan said, " Wait up a minute and I'll walk you to your limo. "

The bayview was pretty much the way I remembered it. I jumped out of my skin as a hand laid itself on my shoulder. " Devon said you'd explain everything to my satisfaction, because that's the only way you'll get my help. "

" Only if we can go below deck. " I went first, removing my wig and sunglasses when I was sure I was out of sight.

" So it really is you. Jess never told me your real name, although my gut instinct tells me you're Alex Marshall's wife, Blaine. It's a pleasure to make your aquaintance. "

" Yes, I'm still married to that son of a bitch, " I hissed though my teeth. " Devon is my uncle and he wants to keep me safe and sound, while sticking it to Alex! I'll give you $50,000 for your time and trouble. "

Ryan's phone rang, jangling my nerves. " Yes, I'm on my way. Let's go, Ms. Rossman, or would you prefer I call you Sara or Blaine? "

" Whichever one you can remember will do just fine. "

I followed him to his jeep, climbed into the front seat, and buckled my seat belt. " By the by, this afternoon is on me. No charge except for the adventure itself! " I had given Ryan a short explanation of what was to transpire.

It took all of two minutes to get to Miss Bee. She was red and sleek. I knew she would be fast as greased lightning on the open water of the bay. " She's a beauty. " I ran my hands up and down her polished side.

" She's my pride and joy..runs like a charm. " The saltwater tasted good on my tongue as we sped over choppy waves for about 30 minutes. The shortcut to the slew came into sight and Ryan slowed to idle speed in the brackish narrows. Grey Dolphin Cove was an area well protected from public view. It was private land which had been in my family for years. A lone figure stood next to the boathouse at the end of the dock, awaiting our arrival. As we approached, I noticed it wasn't Alex who stood there, but his right-hand man, Carson O'Connor. Events were slowly falling into place.

Carson tied us off, and we stepped out of Miss Bee. He brandished a blue-steel .38 revolver.
" You know the way to the cabin, start walking! " I led the way, trudging uphill at a slow pace.

Alex was waiting inside. He paid no attention to me or Ryan. " Good job, O'Connor. Your information was reliable, I trust? " Carson nodded as he pulled off my wig and stripped me of my sunglasses. Alex kissed me hard on my lips, as his hands dug into my arms, then pushed me away. " You slut, you'll get what's coming to you this time..in spades! " He turned to Carson.
" I don't want any loose ends. After you've tied them up, burn this place to the ground! "

Carson gave an order which we obeyed. " Sit! " He tied each of us up to chairs while Alex watched with glee. Alex took out a pistol and would have killed us on the spot, but Carson intervened. " Let me have that honor, Sir. " The tranquilizer gun worked its magical effects. Ryan and I were out cold, giving Alex enough time to leave before my cabin was torched.

Earlier in the day Carson had set up a meeting with a gang leader who was now the proud recipient of the $1 million counterfeit dollars that had been given to Sara Rossman. In exchange, Carson received cocaine and weapons. In an effort to be Mr. Nice Guy, Carson dropped the gift of coke and guns by Alex's penthouse suite. Alex would have guests that would want an explanation, namely agents from the FBI and the CIA. The prison system would welcome Alex back with open arms and their own unique brand of hospitality.

Endings

A hand shook my shoulder.." Wake up, Blaine. You too, Ryan. It's time to
get out of here. " Devon cut the ropes, and we beat a hasty retreat to his limousine. With only seconds to spare, he pulled onto the main road. We heard a loud explosion, and saw black smoke and red flames rising from the cabin's remains.

" That was a close call, Blaine. " Excitement twinkled in Ryan's eyes. " When can we do it again? "

" Never is soon enough for me, Ryan, but I do have a proposition for you. Seeing as you're lacking essential elements of fun and danger in your life, how would you like to become my business partner? I'm going to open another detective agency, and I'll need a man with your skills and qualifications to help me run it. "

" How long do I have to think about it? " Ryan asked.

" Until we get to the airstrip at Macer's Grove. It's a now or never type deal offered only once. Your former life is over and done with, Ryan. Carson has a passport and papers for each of us. Whether you take me up on this or not, you're a dead man as far as the world is concerned. "

Devon made a left turn at the next street, getting on the interstate. He turned the radio on. The announcer said in his most dramatic voice, " The big news of the day folks, is the explosion at Grey Dolphin Cove less than an hour ago. It belonged to Alexander Marshall. In a strange twist of fate, Marshall has been arrested for drug dealing and gun running. " He gave a short laugh.
" And heaven knows what or who was in that cabin when it blew? We'll keep you updated on the hour. "

" Thank god that chapter in my life has ended. " The limo stopped while the small twin engine Piper warmed up. Carson was there with a briefcase in his hand. " Blaine, this is for you. It's money from Alex's illegal investments..enjoy. " He kissed my cheek, then whispered, " I'm going to miss you, Cuz. "

" The same goes for me, Carson. You know I'll be in touch, when all of this dies down. " I hugged him tight and walked over to Devon. " Uncle Devon, I love you,
you're the best! "

" Blaine, I wish you could stay, but I know it's a dangerous situation for you. If you ever need me..." He held me tight. I kissed him good-bye as the pilot motioned that he was ready to go.

I wondered what Ryan had decided but got my answer when he climbed into the backseat. We left land and old lives behind us.





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