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From the Book of the License Agreement
Yea, thou who shall be referred to as the User shall enter most piously into this agreement with the Most Holy One. Thou shall keep his most sacred commandments in thy heart always, for the Gates did give them to his children so that we might one day bask in his most glorious glory.
The Gates did decree in his End-User License Agreement that 10 would be the number of Unbreakable laws, and the number of Unbreakable laws would be 10. First, said that Gates, thou shalt not take my name in vain, nor the name of mine most holy OS. Next, thou shalt not attempt to make the most holy OS use more than 64 meg of memory, for 64 is the most holiest of numbers, and Windows shall use no more than that.
Thirdly, thou shalt not pirate any Microsoft software. Those that do so are not my children, and are punishable by having their hard drives reformatted. Rule third and eleven one hundredths thou wilt also attend too, for Thou Shalt Not Cheat The Gates Out Of His Most Deserved Profits!
Fourthly, thou shalt not attempt to obtain the most holy source code, for that would be implying that thou could understand it. Any mortal who dares to view the sacred source code shalt immediately burst into flames and burn forever in iHell.
Fifthly, thou shalt not attempt to run any Microsoft software on any other OS, for all other operating systems are tainted by the dark power of Jobs, he who is lord of iHell and the anti-Gates.
Sixth, Thou shall not ask for anything that the Gates has not, in his Most Holy Wisdom, given to thee. Thou hast no need for such applications that doth not already exist. Thou shalt also not attempt to code them, for the Gates doth frown upon those that would attempt to meddle in the affairs of Software Gods.
Seventh, thou shalt upgrade most regularly. Thou shall not use old versions once a new upgrade hath been bequeathed to you by the Most Holy Gates.
Eighth, Thou shall have no ISP before MSN, nor after, nor with. MSN shalt be thy one true gateway to the net.
Ninth, the Most Holy and Revered Gates hast reserved the rights to make any changes to His Most Holy and Legally Binding End User Agreement at any time, hence the reason for no Law 10.
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