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Sorry sweetie, Jose ain't got a "marquee" OR a menu
Now really, it don't make no big difference ANYwho.
'Cuz nobody cain't read it no how if'n he DID
Smartest one ever in here is Miss Schoolteacher's little kid
Sides, tain't no need. Why, everbodee knows what we serve here
We got everything under the sun (ceptin' alcohol and beer)
Find a seat, your waiter will be there in a sec, his name's Seth
Hey, just open that pretty little nose, take in a deep breath
Can't ya feel it Angel? Now THAT'S what we call down home cookin
(Thanks to Jack Daniels, my customers are gettin better looking.)
**Toast** **Seth walks up**
Now if ya can't figure it out we got burgers and dogs and fries
THE BEST Bar-B-Q ribs (no bibs), sweet tay-tah pie, and hogs backside
This week we scrounged up some outdated McDonald's Land cookies
and for the kids we got crayons with the Star Wars Wookie on 'em
The ice cream aint frostbit yet, and the synthetic shakes are sweet
Lookie here, we even made 'em green for a St. Patty's treat
Whatcha mean "don't look good" and "we ain't got much of a choice here?"
Don't ya'll be puttin' down my hard working boys now, ya hear?
Did their best to bring you this greasy spoon variety
Knock of your snobby nosed attitude from high society
**Roll Eyes** **Sneer**
No, I don't know what our hot dogs are made of, ain't they just meat?
Ain't never heard nobody ask that before here on the streets
If'n you can't see the burger patty, lift up the bun
It's there, PROMISE, don't be too lazy to look for it hun
What else we got? Why we got turnip, collard, AND mustard greens
How's THAT for variety? *sigh* Yes, they's boiled and not steamed
We got Earl's famous chitlins, but I hope you got nose plugs
And if you gotta throw up - OUTSIDE! - No use messin' the rugs
If your fancy tastes ain't used to that, get something else instead
Get yourself a headcheese sandwich or pick a hunk of pone bread.
**smile** **Rub tummy**
'Course we got fried chicken, you can have your choice of dark or white
complete with paper napkins and watermelon on the side
If ya in a hurry we can give ya a P.B.&J.
We ain't got no "preserves" or "fruit spread," where you think you are anyway?
Well, I guess our kitchen's prejudiced, our bread is only white
Never heard of sun dried tomato, don't see no rye in sight
Oh, is this for here or to go, tho it really don't matter
Ain't gonna serve it on anything that can break or clatter
And you'll get a wax cup to drink from cuz we don't offer glass
Why all the questions? You always been such a pain in the a**?
**Hands on Hips** **Raises Eyebrow Scoldingly**
Almost forgot to tell you, we got macaroni and cheese
Is it real? Why of course, don't ask silly questions PUH-LEEZE
Made it from that orange powder you get from the mission for free
Over yonder 'tween Piggly Wiggly and the Dollar Store, see?
You can add a side salad but ya know it'll cost ya more
and it don't have all that fancy stuff you see in the stores
If you let me man handle ya girl, I'll do you a favor
I'll throw in some tomatoes and onions for you to savor
We used to have bacon bits; beggers stole 'em back then
They'd sneak those, mayonnaise, and saltines to make a sandwich
**Hands Up** **Shrugs**
Now don't ya think you oughta give these questions a break here?
Hmmm... Come to think of it we don't got no soup on the menu either
Course, I did watch Dirty Old Man Harry once upon a time
He made such a unique soup, whatcha call "one of a kind"
Filled a cup with hot water then added ketchup and creamers
said 'twas tomater soup to anyone who was a dreamer
All I said was I didn't care 'cuz this wasn't no buffet
and he had to pay for something or else he could not stay
and what sorta question is THAT? What kind of milk do we carry?
It's only one day past the expiration, but it's good fer a week
**Nod head once** **Hmmph**
As I recollect it, he stole the lemons we don't offer no more
Added 'em to sugar water for better lemonade than the store
People said it was better than the generic Wyler's powder
How could we compete when the voice of the public was louder?
Finally, you made up your mind what you want to drink - coffee
But I never heard of Starbuck's, hazelnut, or toffee
Well, here's your fries, and if they're cold I'll microwave them for you
Honestly tho, they'll taste better if you dip them in your "java" brew
I had better get going and help the other customers
pretending they're more than merely "hungry for food lust comers"
*waves bye* *Turn to go*
Says boss man, "Seth! Now you know you gotsta get back to your work
I don't mean to be rude or come off as some kinda jerk
And for your info, I get off at midnight little sweetie
If you're up to some hanky panky in a private meeting
We can practice making babies then, little lady
Don't put me off with that sarcastic "sometime- maybe"
I can make your perty heart sing if you know what I mean
Nothing wrong with the pleasure that an innocent fling can bring
My Ole' Lady, the alcoholic wench, will be passed out by then
You're married? And that means something? Oh yeah? Since when?
*Hmmm?* *Challenging look*
Ah, but a more important question might be, "Are you happy?"
You should be, hmmm! ~ You're such a find piece of eye candy
Baby, you ought to have a man like me to treat you right
Make ya feel like a princess all thru them lonely nights
Why ya gettin all huffy puffy on me? What did I do?
You ungrateful prissy snob, only trying to be nice to you
Try to give a gal a compliment and see what you git?
No respect, I'm tellin ya. You're the most stuck up I ever seen yet
That's the thanks I get fer tryin to be nice to ya girl
That's okay, you wouldn't even begin to fit in my world
*wag head* *finger shakes no*
Yeah, you'd ruin my rep Angel. That's five fifty please.
And don't spill nothing on those knobby linen covered knees
I ain't gonna pay to dry clean your fancy clothes
Just 'cuz this is the worst service you ever had
Don't mean that my "establishment" is really all that bad
Why don't you just go back to that up town world you came from
us poor folk have always done fine on our own since time begun
Yes, I do have to raise my voice and if I want I will SHOUT
So cutie, don't let the door hit you on the way out
*So there* *smacks hip*
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