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Dappled Afternoon

by Peggy Bertrand
copyright 05-18-2002

Age Rating: 13 +

Drab and dappled afternoon
Lazy gliding in the month of June
Mind is silent like the moon
A life so full just served in a silver spoon

Emotions shearing my memories like a platoon
Wishing I could walk the distant dunes
Whispers drawn near as romantic tunes
My life is like a majestic balloon

All of me easily sent a strewn
Dappled drab afternoon makes me swoon
Time and time again myself I prune
When night falls I will sleep hidden in a cocoon

Tomorrow another dappled drab afternoon

Visitor Reads: 1163
Total Reads: 1245

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        12-06-2008     Arthur G. Finch        

I liked this work a lot, but you seemed under pressure as you write, thus there were many lines where rhymes were forced. You managed the rhyme, but some seem out of line, If you permit me me a suggestion, sit down when you are calm and at ease and reconsider some of those forced lines, Share what you are feeling with out being under the gun, then the right rhyme will develop. Keep writing.

        05-11-2003     Gregory Christiano        

Sort of an afternoon that is a lazy, peaceful one.
Good job.

        05-19-2002     William Robbins        

Ah the touch of those afternoons. Great verse.

        05-18-2002     Melissa Rives        

feelings very well expressed...great imagery as well!

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