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On Line
Walter Jones
Robert Betts
2 Writers

0 Free Members

2 Members
38 Guests

Day on the moon
by Venus Moonbeam (Age: 20)
copyright 07-06-2002


Age Rating: 4 to 127

 
I spent the day up on the moon
Even though there was no room.

I spent the day with Serena
Drinking tea with my sister Tina

I spent the day with my love
He was as sweet as turtle doves.

When I got back from the moon
I went strait to my room.




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06-29-2006 Jessica P.    

This is very nice, however I found that the last line of the last stanza was somewhat not rythmic...er, I mean it didn't really match the flow of the rest of the poem, but other then that it's really good.
07-11-2003 Jenny Stein    

thats what i do when i have a lovely day out...i go STRAIT to my room.
04-13-2003 Jackie Edwards    

It's almost perfect, but you misspelled 'straight' as 'strait'. ;)
07-07-2002 Peggy Bertrand    

Delightful poem drinking tea with tina.. I liked this poem
Visitor Reads: 622
Total Reads: 862
Comments: 4

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