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Queen Baryls past
by Venus Moonbeam (Age: 20)
copyright 07-22-2002


Age Rating: 4 to 17

 
This story shows why Queen Baryl wants to destroy the moon kingdom.

Along time ago, when Queen Baryl was still a little princess, she use to play all the time with The future Queen Serenity. Well 1 day, Serena, as Baryle, Queen Baryls real name, called her, had to work, and it had to be done before she could play. Baryle came over and wanted to help, but Serena said it had to be done alone."But Serena, you know that if we worked together, it would get done faster." She said. "Oh Ok." Serena finnaly said.

A couple minnets later, the present Queen Serenity came in and said, "Good job Serena. This place looks great." "Thanks mommy, Baryle helped me also" Serena said. "Oh she did, did she?" Queen Serenity asked.
"Yes mame, I did." Baryle said. "Didn't I tell you Serena, that you had to do this by yourself?" She asked. "Yes mommy you did." Serena answered. "Well then why did you dissobey me?" She asked. "I just wanted to play." Serena said. "Yeah and its not like we did anything that bad." Said Baryle. "Serenity I want you to go outside with Barylewhile I have a talk with her mouther." She said. "Yes mom" Serena said.


Whats going to happen? I don't know. Wait untill next time.




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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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09-26-2005 Toni Sweeney    

So far this is a good story. But like Andrew said it needs more detail and you had several mistakes. The first paragraph was confusing. In some places you need to add some words. Also for the story to be a easier read when someone new talks make a new paragraph. If you need help fixing this up you can email me and I will be glad to help you.
Toni Sweeney
08-27-2005 Andrew Findlay    

This was interesting but needs more details. Also there were several spelling mistakes. You should run your work through a spell checker. Good effort!
07-23-2003 Paul Kangas    

This was written 1 year ago. When are you going to finish it?
07-10-2003 Anna Ellis    

you need more detail but other than that it's well writen.
Visitor Reads: 584
Total Reads: 747
Comments: 4

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