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Andrea P.
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Solitude
by Shannon Jaime (Age: 19)
copyright 08-09-2002


Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
Frozen in my solitude,
No warmth to melt me away;
My crystal tears shatter
When they hit the ground,
Fragments discarded by the bitter cold day.

I cannot escape the fate that awaits me,
No matter how hard I try;
I will be alone forever
With no fire to help me,
No matter how much I cry.

Time is of the essence,
But what is time?
All feeling is lost;
I am numb in my mind.

Cold as crystal ice,
And I cannot move:
No sun, no beams, no tepid heat—
Only merciless winter to soothe.

I am frozen still,
Deadened in my cage,
A shivering prisoner of icicles’ rage.
Never will I be free of this solitude:
A frost that I cannot elude.


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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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10-18-2007 Leigh G.    

*distant look* You have such great style...while I haven't read any of her stuff recently, your work reminds me of SamiJo Mcquiston's work. While she isn't active on PnP anymore, she is a great author.

Ima! (Now!) For my evaluation of your piece. ^-^ I really liked the comparisons with 'crystal tears' and the idea of them shattering, along with all the comparisons to being numb and other symptoms of the sort. Maybe because I've felt my fingers go numb a lot and it really bothers me when I'm in a dark mood, but numbness, to me, only deeps the feeling of being alone.

Anyway, great poem! I like the way you tell stories in your work, complete with undivided lines. Lines divided in mid-sentence and improper capitalization make me twitch and doom any poem I read to low praise. XD


Leigh of the Commenting Community
11-11-2003 Caitlin M.    

The grammer is good but, the poem not that great.
10-06-2002 Beverly Murrelle    

Chilling to say the least. Excellent imagery.
Visitor Reads: 395
Total Reads: 512
Comments: 3

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