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Just a little something for fun! I love to visit sitcoms as a hobby. :)
*****
"But Deeebraaaa I wanna play golf todaaay!"
"No, Raymond! I need for you to watch the kids." Debra enters the living room, wiping her hands on a dish towel. "You know I go to my 'Women are Significant' meeting every Saturday."
"But Deeebraaaa! Saturday is the only day I have to play golf!"
"Raymond, I never get out of the house. Is that what you want, Raymond? A drudge who never sees the light of day outside her front door?"
"Well, yeah! If it means I can go golfing on Saturday!"
"WHAT?"
"Oooh, I didn't mean that! It's just that I really want to go golfing!"
Debra gawks at him with her hands on her hips, as the front door opens.
"Hello, children! Robert is giving me a lift to the store. Is there anything I can pick up for you?" Mother Barone has entered the room. Robert walks behind her and waves in a lame fashion, standing in a hangdog manner by the door.
"Didn't you ever hear of knocking?" Debra asks.
"Why yes, dear! But it's okay to walk in on family. You are family...." Mrs. Barone pauses, eyeing up Debra, "Unfortunately."
"Well!" Debra gasps.
"Excuse me! Is anybody home?" Jo is standing in the doorway, holding a clipboard and a pen. "I'm collecting for charity, the United Force." Robert eyes her with interest.
"I gave at the office!" Raymond blurts out.
"No, you didn't!" Debra slaps him. "YOU'RE SO CHEAP!"
"Ooooooh!" Mrs. Barone utters in shock, then steps forward. "Don't you hit my boy like that!"
"Maaaaa!" Raymond steps between them.
"Oh boy! A cat fight! Only isn't one of those cats a little BIG to pick on the other?" Mr. Barone has entered the room. "By the way, WHERE'S LUNCH?"
Jo chews on her pen, darting her eyes from one person to another. She jumps when Robert suddenly addresses her.
"That's very nice...how you work for charity, I mean."
Jo studies the tall man with interest. "Uh, yeah! I like to give something back....er, how TALL are you anyway?"
"Better go for it, Robbie! How long has it been since a woman showed any interest in you, except for moving heavy furniture?" Mr. Barone chuckles at his own remark.
"Robbie did a nice job of rearranging the guest bedroom," Mrs. Barone adds.
Raymond, meanwhile, has been staring at Jo. Finally, he speaks. "Hey, how would like to do a little baby sitting?"
"Huh?" Jo answers.
"I just thought maybe you might like to earn a few bucks....for the United Force, I mean."
"You're gonna make her WORK for a donation?" Debra kicks him in the shin.
"Well, she wants money, and I want to go golfing. It's a deal made in heaven."
Robert steps forward. "I would be happy to assist you in your baby sitting responsibilities." He smiles, as much as Robert is capable of smiling.
"I could get YOU to do it for free?" Raymond asks.
"No, I'll only work with this nice lady."
"That's my boy, Robbie!" Mrs. Barone interjects. "That way Raymond can go golfing like he wants, which his wife will never let him do on Saturdays. I mean, what is Saturday meant to be but a man's day to relax?"
"How dare you? My 'Women are Significant' meeting is just as important to me as golfing is to Raymond."
Mrs. Barone scoffs. "Dear, a woman's significance is in her home, with her family. But you wouldn't know that, not showing much interest in those things."
"OOOOOOH!" Debra stomps from the room.
"Don't worry, Raymond! We're your family and we'll always love you." Mrs. Barone states, clutching Raymond's arm and resting her head on his shoulder.
Robert looks at Jo and throws his hands up. "See that! Everybody loves Raymond!"
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