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Once I had a dream. I dreamt that I was sent to another country to live. But before I could enjoy a new life I was told that I had to learn all about it. And that the best way to do it was by watching TV.
In my dream I was locked in a room equipped with that rectangular box.
"How long shall I stay here?" I asked people who had imprisoned me.
"Until you're ready to go out!" was the answer.
"When will it be?"
"You'll find out!" they answered.
What a strange school of life, I thought. But maybe they were right! After all someone said that TV "entertains, teaches and brings up!" So according to that expression, after "a while" I should be ready to join the outside world. When people meet people they use to evaluate each other for who you are and what you are. If you are able to talk about an art, if you speak clearly, using "smooth" words and if you show manners - you would be considered as a very intelligent person. But was it really the truth that my personality would be a consequence of watching TV?
"What about books, papers, school, teachers, parents and friends?" I asked my guards.
"Forget all that stuff! You'll find everything on TV!"
Well, maybe they were right! There is nobody else in the room. Only me. And there are a lot of people outside; probably they all had graduated from that "school." Otherwise there would be someone with me.
Pressing buttons on the remote control, I began to skim through that "book of life." All the pages were covered with colorful pictures, but what I found difficult was that I barely understood what was "written" under them. Everything seemed to be very interesting, but I didn't know what "chapter" I should "read" first to start my education.
A lot of thoughts and question marks whirled in my mind, but I hoped that soon I would get all necessary answers to them.
So as a "child" I began my TV education from the very beginning, choosing a program that every youngster would have chosen - cartoons. Nice and ugly, small and big, wise and stupid - all the creatures taught me how to be tough, strong, malicious, nasty, naughty, rude and destructive. I learned that by eating spinach I would be able to uproot huge trees, but also I could smash faces of my enemies. It was nothing strange to scatter nails all over the road and watch what would happen to the speeding cars. Dynamite, poison, various sharp things would help me solve many problems. If I couldn't catch someone, all kinds of traps were permissible. Huge stones, and heavy objects would change opponents into pulp.
Considering that I already knew how to be a trouble maker, I turned the "page" of my "book" to graduate from the next "class."
Soon I was taught how to lift merchandise from a store, how to rob a gas station and then a bank. I knew how to open a door or window using a credit card. My vocabulary became richer with new words: F#*$!, $%#*!, among others. I was taught how to make a small portions of a white powder and then sniff them using a rolled dollar bill. If somebody disturbed me by saying something I didn't like, I would shoot him without a wink of an eyelid.
"Hello! Anybody there?" I knocked at the door, calling my friends.
"What's up? Are you ready to go out?"
"Well, no! I don't want to! But do you have another TV? I think that the one I have here is the wrong one."
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