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Warring Kingdom
by Shannon Jaime (Age: 19)
copyright 08-16-2002


Age Rating: 13 to 127

 
Why is there no peace—only war?
Will the darkness linger here forevermore?
Why is there so much violence,
And only shadows, and only silence?

Everyone ordered to remain quiet;
Through broken glass they observe the riot.
Innocent souls die of starvation—
Is there no desire for holy salvation?

All long to exist, to breathe, to be alive,
But must ignore their painful hunger and thrive.
Does serene harmony even exist?
Each day I wonder why we foolishly resist.

I naively dream that faith will persevere;
I desperately hope we can dispel our fear.
I wistfully wish we could all have freedom
In this oppressed, this earthly kingdom.


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10-18-2007 Leigh G.    

So fanciful...as I read more of your work, I'd say you're worthy of hitting the venerated location of a five-star author on and off. I automatically doubt such perfection, but I approve for you. *Japanese-style bow*

Okay! For the poem! But first something random! I really like the word "forevermore"...I wanna use it in a poem. XD I'm more likely to throw Japanese words or liens in my work, but I wanna use that one. ^-^

Down to business! Beautiful, simply beautiful rhyming and flow. You captured everything so wonderfully with the bonus cookie of rhyming. (*defensive* Who, me? No, I didn't eat any of that cake I baked yesterday...! Honest...! *cat stares at me* skaata...)

Keep it comin'! I've been stumbling onto fantasy poems more often recently, and while I do still find my complaints with originally in them, I have no picks with your fantasy pieces as of yet. ^-^ Mou ichido, I find your poem worthy of a theme poem for some sort of fantasy game or something like that. ^-^ Yes, that's a good thing in my eyes. XD


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03-22-2003 Janet Owenby    

I could not agree more with your words. Another awesome write.
08-18-2002 Cristina Lipp    

A worthy dream, Shannon. I love your poem. We should all strive for that peace and freedom which is what makes life worth living here.

Good writing.
08-16-2002 William Robbins    

Marvelous verse. Keeps the reader's attention.
08-16-2002 Elena Subia    

Peace in this world is the dream of multitudes, and your poetry sets the idea to motion. (makes one think!)
Very nice poem, you did a great job!

Elena
Visitor Reads: 576
Total Reads: 747
Comments: 5

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