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So! You've decided to become a Floridian. You've chuck it all - ice, snow and freezing cold to rough it out in the land of alligators and orange juice. A word of advise, my friend. Hold on to that snow shovel. Don't trade it in for a pool brush until you're sure this is where you want to set your flippers down permanently.
Here then, is a quick quiz to help you decide if you're true blue Florida material.
On your flip-flops .. Ready .. get set .. GO!
1) You've just arrived in Miami after six days on the road. The temperature is a glorious 85º with a heat index of 101º. Do you:
a) Go ahead and unload the trailer and hope that those little rivulets of water running down your face aren't a sure sign that you're melting like the wicked witch of the west.
b) Jump in the algae infested pool with a pina colada in hand.
c) Pass up the pool and the trailer in favor of a crowded beach?
d) Invite yourself over to your cousin Pluto's air-conditioned condo.
2) It's a beautiful sunny day. Not a cloud in the clear blue sky. You decide to go for a stroll and get acquainted with your neighbors. On your way, you meet several suspicious looking people all carrying umbrellas. Should you:
a) Approach them cautiously and hope it's not an automatic weapon disguised as an umbrella.
b) Smile real friendly and remark what a beautiful, sunny day it is.
c) Run like the dickens.
d) All of the above.
3) You're admiring the beautiful tropical vegetation that abounds in Florida. Suddenly, a small curious brown creature jumps from the tree in front of you. After regaining your composure, you examine the little fellow and decide it must be:
a) An iguana.
b) A mini-alligator.
c) A miniature dinosaur.
d) A lizard.
4) The kitchen needs cleaning. No problem. You pull open a cabinet and out jumps a funny looking bug. After a mad 100-yard dash around the kitchen, with stomping intervals and one ‘very' dead bug, you scrutinize your finding. Is it:
a) A water bug.
b) A jitter bug.
c) A palmetto bug, (which resembles a cross between a cockroach and a mahogany bird.)
d) A VW bug.
(Please check your answers on the bottom of this page)
If you scored one correct, stay up North and enjoy a beautiful, majestic winter scenery along with all the other pleasantries like - exhilarating snow shoveling, artistic skid-driving on ice, the
clean carpet "mud-slosh shuffle" and dressing up like an eskimo, etc. The probability of becoming a true floridian is minimal, if not impossible. Let's face it - The mosquitos down here would have a field day with you.
If you scored two correct, there might be a slight chance that you could adjust to the Florida life. It will take some hard work and discipline. Just repeat after me, "I can do this. I can take off my snow boots now". Hang in there. There's hope.
If you scored three correct, you're on your way to becoming the real ‘margarita'. Just hang on to those flip-flops and floaties real tight and don't let go, no matter what.
You scored four correct? Congrats! Welcome to Florida! Hey, you're true blue, man. What have you been doing all these years shoveling snow up north? Here are your flip-flops, your floaties, your pina colada. Jump in!
ANSWERS:
(1) c or d (depending on your preference). If you like crowds and don't mind frying in the sun all afternoon, not to mention turning red as a lobster, being a prime candidate for skin cancer...(oops, sorry I got carried away here)...I'd say (c). (D) -if you called your cousin Pluto just before hitting Florida to patched up your 10-year dispute about being the smartest one in school and who it was the homecoming queen had the crush on.
(2) d - Incorporate a,b and c in quick succession. Be prepared for anything.
(3) d - again. Alligators never come in 'mini' sizes, an iguana is green (isn't it??), and a miniature dinosaur??!! NEVER - Well, a plastic one, maybe.
(4) c - you should have known this one!!! They even have a plant named after the little bugger. He has the distinct honor of being the Florida state bug.
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