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Sometimes I have the audacity to pray
I think I can't, when I consider my day,
And God, seeing all from Heaven, seems to say
'How dare you speak to Me after living that way!'
But sin is so easy, it's natural to me,
It's in my mind, my life, my fantasy.
At night, sometimes, I dream and sin is all I see,
I wonder how can I change the way I seem to be.
Sometimes all I can do is cry
Especially when I have been living a lie,
I believe Satan's deceptions and as hard as I try
It seems my only escape from it all is to die.
Why would You create me with such a longing for You
but completely unable to ever be true?
What kind of being is unable to do
Anything it truly wants to?
I have heard that I have free will,
To an extent I guess that it's real.
But it seems that all it does is make me ill
For that is how my sin makes me feel.
If I had a choice of free will or Yours
I would never again complain about chores,
I would never lust at sea shores,
I would not angrily slam my doors.
I would give my free will just for this:
To know that Satan's temptations all would miss
To know my heart wouldn't be an abyss
For my sinless nature would fill me with bliss.
I know I'm not all that good,
I know I don't do what I should,
But that's why Christ hung from that wood
I can't be perfect like He could.
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