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One day I sank into the cozy armchair and I lost myself deeply in thought: Is it possible to write about nothing? Has anybody ever written about nothing? Is there any sense in picking up a pan and writing about nothing? Who is going to read such a piece of journalistic art?
First I thought that "nothing" was nothing important to write about. But then I realized that "nothing" played quite significant role in our lives. People quarrel about nothing. People are unhappy having nothing. They get crazy if they have nothing to do. And people even kill each other for nothing. You can't buy something for nothing. Sometimes you have to apologize for nothing because nothing for you is something for the others.
So is nothing something?
One evening I watched a dispute on TV between two individuals about a third one who had written a book. Although at the end of the show they both agreed that there was nothing to argue about, they had conversed. They talked about nothing! And it took half an hour for them to come to that conclusion! What,s more, there were people, somewhere, at their homes, who watched and listened to that same nothing. And on the next day, they probably said to their friends: "There was nothing on TV last night!"
If you go to the doctor because you feel that something is wrong, let's say, with your throat, the doctor will give you a prescription. But he also will assure you that it is nothing to worry about. You bought a medicine and after you used all the pills, you realized that you had paid for nothing. But the doctor got your money for something. You see: your "nothing" was something to him! Why did he prescribe you a medicine? Because you knew nothing! Before the doctor became a doctor, he studied for a long time. He learned how to treat people, but he also learned hoe to change nothing to something.
People like to pay for nothing. They buy papers, magazines and... if they read them, they exercise their intelligence. But very often the written words are just bundled up and thrown on a curb to be recycled. There was nothing in those papers for non-readers, but the papers are something for those who pick them up and change them to, let's say, rolls of toilet paper. And then you can't say that those rolls of paper are nothing. You need them! The "nothing" changed itself to something again.
Once I visited my friends, who had beautiful trees in front of their house. They decided to cut them down because the trees blocked their view. When I asked them why they were going to destroy such an adornment of their place, they said with anger, "We can see nothing through these stupid trees!" I said nothing.
There are misunderstandings because of nothing. Another day I saw a commercial on TV about a cereal called "Nut and Honey." The lady played the piano while her husband ate his breakfast. She asked him what he was eating, and he answered, "Nut n'honey!" She was offended, and when he asked her what she was playing, she responded, "Nothing Honey!" The similarity in pronunciation of those two expressions caused the tension between the husband and the wife.
Have you tried to ask your boss to increase your salary? Even if you make a big effort to persuade him that you were a good worker, that you deserved to get a raise, which meant a lot to you, probably you heard, "There is nothing to talk about!" and "You can change your job if you don't like the one you have!" Now the "nothing" sounded like blackmail. It wasn't nothing anymore.
It seems that dogs have nothing to say. But it's not true. The body language: moving tails, ears, eyes... everything proves that they try to communicate. You look at the dog trying to figure out what he is barking for, and you think that it is nothing. But the dog makes a noise because he wants something.
If people don't talk to you because they think that there is nothing to talk with you about, it doesn't mean that you are nothing. It means that they know nothing about you.
If you wrote about something because you had felt the need to share your point of view, people get angry that you criticized them, that you laughed at their weak points, that you ridiculed them. The truth irritated them because... people want to be praised. Even for nothing!
So I decided to write about nothing because I thought that this subject was safe enough not to hurt anybody. Nobody can accuse me for this kind of expression. Unless someone will find something in my "nothing." It is very likely that someone will become envious that I am clever enough to write about nothing, while they have trouble putting a few words together writing a letter to their friends.
I am a newcomer to this country. I've been learning English and I would like to show everybody that I have something to say. Perhaps my style of writing is strange, maybe I use simple words to express myself, but I also want to show that I don't need a ghost-writer. Even if I write about... nothing!
Of course, I could have used more sophisticated definitions to describe "nothing," but sometimes flowery words lose the meaning of non-complicated matter.
And I also decided to sign this article by my name. Perhaps my name means nothing to some people, but it is something to me!
Ryszard Krasowski
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