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To the Lady of the Night (revised)
by Elizabeth Schalchlin (Age: 24)
copyright 08-26-2002


Age Rating: 18 to 127

 
Here's a revision of my poem, 'To the Lady of the Night', I was given some excellent advise on how to improve it, but I'm not a paying member so I can't just edit it. Enjoy!

***

She walks through the room, a swish in her step,
the strong sweet stench of love surrounding like a cloud.
Deep scarlet velvet rustles as she moves,
And I know that tonight the screaming will be loud.
Thursday night, eight p.m. sharp,
Her voice is as sweet as the music of a harp.

Tonight it's Mr. Johnson, tomorrow Mr. Rose,
Then Baker, then Thacker,
Then who the Hell knows.
Your eyes shine like diamonds, your skin's smooth and clear,
Take a drag off your joint and the man is suddenly here.

Slink across the main room, throw open the door,
Let the young man enter, drop your clothes onto the floor,
Feign a night of passion, wear the mask, play the game:
To you it doesn't matter, him or another, they're all the same.

The night pulses on like the beating of a heart,
I hear the same old words every night, it's like an art.
You know what to say, how to be, what to do
They all come back for more after just one night with you.




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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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02-05-2005 Anthony Lane Stahlhut    

I like your rewright. Thanks, Anthony
08-28-2002 Cristina Lipp    

I like this poem. I didn't see the original, but this is good. Very descriptive and very well written.
08-27-2002 Aaron Schmookler    

Now you're cooking. That's much improved, and it was good to start with.

Right on!
Visitor Reads: 344
Total Reads: 467
Comments: 3

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