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"I love you" for sale
by Ryszard Krasowski
copyright 09-01-2002


Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
“I love you,” says he.

“I love you, too,” says she.

“Let’s get married,” proposes he.

“Well, I’d love to, but… what’s your financial status?” she seems to be interested in their future.

“Well, I have a job...” he seems to be a little nervous. “I have two hands and something under my skull, so I think that we can manage somehow. And besides I love you!”

“Let me think about it.”


“My daughter is going to get married,” excited mother calls her friend.

“Wow! This is great news! Is he handsome?”

“Well, he is not Robert Redford, but he is not Frankenstein either.”

“What do his parents do?” a friend is interested in a background of a fiancé.

“They know some people in New York,” mother seems to be proud of the future in-laws connections.

“That’s good!”

Of course these kinds of conversation are simplified, but sooner or later, in this or other form, they take place. Listening to them, I realize that it is not enough to say “I love you” nowadays. It seems that before you venture to make this statement you have to have a thick wallet or good connections. The more hard cash you have the better love you can buy. The more influential people surround you the better start in life you have. Somewhere, somehow, the proper meaning of one of the most beautiful expression has been lost, has become distorted.

People look for love, people expect love and people give love. But very often people try to buy love and their greediness turns out to be a very difficult problem to cope with.

From the very beginning, at the moment when a little fellow arrives to this world, he or she is given lessons about love and how much it costs. The parents are so overjoyed with the fact of having such a treasure that they show the deepest affection, swamping the little one with everything that expresses their love. First there come the cloths. Although the baby doesn’t need such a mountain of different kind of fabrics, what the heck, she or he has it. Then there come the toys. The amount of teddy bears, building blocks, dolls etc., can easily fill up shelves of the village store. The baby is happy. So are the parents.

Busy with their lives and in quest for money they make a loving gesture. A nanny is “bought” for their child. “Mummy and Daddy have to go to work. Be good! We love you!” they try to convince their child, although he or she doesn’t understand yet what’s going on, that everything what’s possible is done to make him or her happy.

Time goes by and a stream of “love” flowing out from parents pockets becomes bigger and bigger. Furry toys are exchanged to more sophisticated equipment. A human nanny is supplanted by electronically gadgets. “Go to your room and watch TV or play with the computer,” says father, “I am busy right now!”
From then “I love you” comes from the TV screen. But it is not “I loved you” only. There are other expressions which play significant role in forming the utterance of feelings and have influence on child’s behavior.

“You know that we love you,” parents make an effort to find out why they are losing a thread of understanding with their child. “To show you how much we care, we are going to buy you a new model of Porsche for your birthday.”

The street is already his. A man in a car has already a power of buying attention, admiration and everybody’s love. But then, one day, he seems to be in love. From a little creature that was under protection he grew up into an individual worth trapping. What he didn’t know was that someone who was selling “I love you” to him at the same time was buying it.

After some time of being together they go to court to find out how much their feelings are worth. The sentence makes them angry and happy. Angry that each of them lost something and happy that there was enough left to buy a new “I love you”.

Watching what is happening to this simple and beautiful expression, I come to conclusion that it is not a bad idea to make a pretty good business of it in America. And I am seriously considering sending a personal ad to all the papers and magazines which will sound like this:

“I am poor. I didn’t inherit anything. I don’t know anybody. But I will say “I love you”.
Pictures are not necessary.”






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09-17-2004 Paula T.    

What I noticed is the poorer the parents, the more time they spend on their kid.
For example, the richest kids' parents have loads of monry, and they buy stuff for their kids all the thime, but THEY don't spend any time with their children.
I completely agree with you on this topic!


02-02-2003 Jennifer James    

I'm sorry but I have always wanted a Porshe. I received a blue Volkeswagon beetle for my sixteenth birthday. I was not expecting a car of any sort. My father was a factory worker and wired the front panel of every Thomas Built Bus in this region. If you have ever been on a busy interstate and suddenly your 1969 beetle decides to go no further, you dream of a Porshe. Please add a turbo. I liked your write.


09-06-2002 Nancy Pawley    

What it all boils down to is what is a person willing to sacrifice for love? This is a great write, Ryszard.
Nancy


09-03-2002 Eddie Bruce    

Sadly Ryszard, it's a throw-away phrase in the UK also. It says a lot about our insecurity that "Love you" has become 'built in' amongst all the other meaningless cliches in family conversations. Don't we know each other at all?
Well observed piece, unfortunately all too true. Love the small ad at the end.


09-02-2002 Bob Church    

Unfortunately, your assessment of contemporary American life is right on the money (if you'll excuse the very poor play on words). We see it in all aspects of business and personal relationships. A fax now takes the place of a handshake, an e-mail takes the place of a kiss.

Our money-making skills far outweigh our interpersonal abilities. Sad, but very perceptive commentary...


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