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On Line
Robert Betts
Eric Gasparich
Leah G.
Mary -BrytEyz- Ball
4 Writers

0 Free Members

4 Members
31 Guests

To My Lover (Hate is love disguised)
by Debra Rose (Age: 21)
copyright 09-27-2002


Age Rating: 13 to 127

 
It was the dark morning in which I woke
The shadows deepened in my room
But something was different in this place.
(A now unsafe sanctuary)

For there was a pulling as I thought your name
A yearning as I heard your voice
A waking premonition from the dusk of my dreams
And there you sat
A figment on my bed.
(You penetrated my haven...
Will you do the same to my soul?)

But then I blinked, and you were gone
And suddenly I felt as though I'd die
It was then I realized, but possibly too late?
My bane had been my love disguised..
(That thin line was broken;
black and white
turned into red.)


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10-02-2002 Aaron Schmookler    

A very good poetic concept, and a good poem.

What keeps it from being great, is that I get a little tied up in the reversals of lover/bane. Imagery is tops. Language is very good. I just have a bit of trouble taking the journey with you.
09-28-2002 Nancy Pawley    

Wonderful poem, Debra.
Nancy
Visitor Reads: 609
Total Reads: 809
Comments: 2

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