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On the verge of losing her sanity Sarah looked up to the old wooden ceiling. Tears rolling down the side of her cheeks onto the rumpled pillow that lay beneath her head. 'Oh God, tell me what can I do to make this pain go away',she cried as she turned her face into the palms of her hands. She could feel the room getting cold, the draft coming in from the window above the bed, thinking of all that was lost, thinking of way back when things seemed perfect and in the twitch of an eye it disappeared.
'Father as I come to you tonight, I first ask for your forgiveness for all my sins and in turn I ask that you release me from my sorrows and as your promise so righteously said so that joy can cometh on the morrow', fumbling for the words, she could think of nothing more to say, all she could think of was what happened the previous day.
Sixteen, only sixteen, I thought life was going just fine, in fact better than fine. School was going okay so was home, mom and dad, no trouble there and Ted was unbearably sweet, Ted...hmmm. My parents had no idea that I was sexually active,non...I was their little girl, came home on time, got straight A's, their 'little girl'. I would tell them that I was staying over at Samantha's for the night because her parents were never home and Ted would come over and we would make love. Now thinking back I ask myself the question was love worth the risk of getting pregnant? I thought Ted loved me but when I told him that we were going to be parents of our own, mind you I was so happy, I ignored the twinge in my stomach that focused on what my parents would do to me, instead I focused on us.
Ted said that he was only sixteen, sixteen, wasn't ready to be a father, said it wasn't his fault, it wasn't his child....From the depths of my soul, it hurt, with a silent scream filled within my throat I watched him as he turned and walked away. I wanted to die at that moment but God wouldn't let me. How was I going to face my parents and tell them that I wasn't their innocent little girl anymore,that I was pregnant?
I lay in my bed looking at the old wooden ceiling asking God to take away the pain I was feeling. I don't think he heard me so I went on me knees on the carpeted floor but this time closed my eyes and asked Him once more. "Father as I come to you tonight, I first ask for your forgiveness for all my sins and in turn I ask that you release me from my sorrows and as your promise so righteously said so that joy can cometh on the morrow'.
'Sarah' called my mother as she knocked on my bedroom door, 'go away' I shouted. 'What's wrong, you've been in there for the entire day'. I didn't respond, I mean what was I going to say, am I expected to just blurt out, 'well mom, I'm pregnant', I don't think so. 'I love you Sarah and what ever it is your father and I are here for you. We know that you are getting older but you're still our little girl' I could hear her voice soften as she spoke, I wanted to tell her mummy I need you but then those words played through my head, 'our little girl'.
They trusted me and I decieved them. I wanted to run but to where, certainly not by Ted, he already made it very clear about how he felt and not by Samantha, I didn't want her looking at me in a different way. I slept on it for the night.
When I awoke the next morning and went down stairs to my surprise Ted and his parents were there sitting on my living room couch in my living room talking to my parents. As I approached them they all looked at me. 'Sarah why don't you join us'asked my mother in a calm voice which made me nervous because I didn't know what Ted was doing here, more so his parents. 'Well is there something you would like to tell us babe?' asked my father with a stern voice. 'No', I mean what do they want from me. 'Are you sure?'he asked again. I was a little hesitant to answer because I knew in my heart and mind that there was only one reason Ted was here.
'Mom, dad, I have something to tell you', they looked at me with piercing eyes,'I'm', I had to take a breath, I bowed my head and closed my eyes, 'I'm pregnant', I kept my eyes closed because I was afraid of what they might say, afraid of the expressions on their faces but when I reopened them there wasn't rage as I had envisighed, my mother got up quietly, her face gone red, eyes filled with tears. My father came closer to me, I thought he was going to, I don't know what I thought he would have done but what ever it was he didn't do, he just came closer and held me, 'I love you my dear and we're going to work this out'.
There was Ted across the room looking at me, there was his parents by his side looking at us. 'Mr. & Mrs. Stone, I know that this is a very difficult situation but when Ted came and told us about Sarah, we too were a bit, shocked, but then we sat down and talked about it, I know that it might sound a little to calm but we talked, his father was enraged'.'Yes, I was but what could I do, no ill-intention meant but what was done was done and I admired that my son wanted to be reponsible where this situation was concerned' said Mr. Finuchi. 'We are very sorry about this, and we could see no other resolution without discussing this situation together'finished Mrs. Finuchi. My mother came back in the room, the glance she gave Ted was one that could knock you over, thank God it was just a glance but she sat down and they spoke about it, we spoke about it and in the end it was up to Ted and me, what we wanted to do. I wasn't ready for a child nor was he but it was there and what was to be was to be. All the fun was over, we had to take that step into adulthood.
They left and I ran upstairs to my room and locked the door, I felt ashamed of what had just transpired but then I went back on my knees, on the floor and this time I thanked God for answering my prayer from the night before. It was shocking you know, I never saw that side of my parents before. And Ted, who would have thought that he would come around, change his mind the way he did but I thanked God for it.
Not sixteen anymore, seventeen with an addition to our household, Surina Tias Finuchi, our seven pound beautiful baby girl. Sometimes when we think that there's no one there to understand what we are going through, God understands and he answers prayer all the time. I was pregnant at only sixteen, I thought that my whole world would fall apart but my parents stood by me through every doctor visit and now I am blessed with a new found love in my heart and that can only be ... the blessings of God.
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