Turning Your Back
by
Victoria Horne
(Age: 20)
copyright 10-03-2002
Age Rating: 10 to 127
So. You feel there's nothing left to live for. You're turning your back, turning your back on everything. You're turning your back on the world. You're turning your back on your family, friends, everything around you. You're turning your back on the past; everything you did, everything you loved, everything that made you angry, sad, happy. You're turning your back on the present; what is, everything that surrounds you, everything you already have. You're turning you back on the future; on what could have been, what you could have done, everything that was to come. And you're turning your back on me. Me, your best friend. Or, at least, I thought I was your friend. But you're turning you back on me, and that makes me think. My whole life, I've been living for, practically, everybody else. I've been there for people when I didn't have to be, I tried to be their friends; but for once, I thought I was actually worth living for. That maybe, just maybe, someone actually cared that I was here. I guess not. What was I to you? What did it mean to you that I was there, and that I cared about you. Did you care about me? Our friendship? Are you really going to turn your back on me? I loved you like a sister, and I still love you more than ever. I could never be mad at you for anything, even if you really hurt me, which, you never did. But now you have, by turning your back on me. You cut me real deep, but still, you're my friend. The only true, real friend I've ever had. The one person who, or so I thought, considered me a real friend. Are you really turning your back on me?
Dedicated to my dear friend whom I love as a sister and always will.
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Hi Victoria,
this is very, very moving. I lost a friend to suicide, and I promise you, the loss is as deeply cutting now as then. Not a day goes by that i don't think of her and wonder, "Why?"
Unfortunately, I wasn't aware (we were already grown, married, saw each other only once a year...) and didn't have the opportunity to tell her not only how much i loved her but how betrayed I would feel.
I think what makes your write so effective is the attempt to bring your friend "out of herself" a little, which is not something that's easy to do with folks who are so despondent as to wish to end their lives.
I realize this is something you wrote strictly from the heart, and so eloquently, too, but I also think as an entry here on PnP it would fit in more on the "prose" side, paragraphed and so forth.
Again, it's very, very moving, and I do hope your friend comes to realize life is worth living with friends like you around.
Alright, um, I wrote this when I was worried about my friend. She was thinking about committing suicide, and well, I wasn't about to live my life knowing I did nothing to stop it. So, I did the one thing that I could, and I wrote this poem. She read it and said that she almost started to cry (I was writing a test when she read it, ^^;) and I think she's changed her mind...for now. But the future still lies ahead, and much more is yet to come, so who really knows for sure?
Welcome !
