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Quite a few years ago--it was 1998, I think--I had a conversation with God. No, don't look at me like that; I can assure you that I'm not insane by any stretch of the definition. And I wasn't on anything, either…but it is an interesting anecdote, and absolutely real. Besides, I think you need to hear it.
Now, where was I? Oh, yes…no matter what the exact year, I remember distinctly that it was early February. Here in the NorthWestern part of America, it gets very cold at that time of year, and even snows (when the weather is just right). But no matter what season it happens to be, I am not a "morning person." I'm well aware there are such people (I used to imitate one when in High School), but my "morning" usually rolls me out of bed around 11am. I also detest having to get out of bed while the floor (not to mention the rest of the room) is cold…which gives this true tale a touch of curiosity.
This particular February morning, quite a few years ago, I was roused out of sleep because I thought I heard someone gently murmuring my name. To this day, I'm not sure if I heard the voice of my Savior in my ears or my head.
"Heidi…"
"Mmf." I grunted, half rolling into the warm trench that the night's slumber (and my body heat) had made of my bed.
"Heidi, get up."
"What?" Still I had not opened my eyes.
"Heidi, come on; I have something important to show you."
Reluctantly I opened my eyes. Nobody was in the room. "If that isn't You, Jesus, I'm going to sic Him on you."
A chuckle. "Come on, Heidi, get up."
I blinked. "Is it You, Jesus?"
"Yes, my precious one. Get out of bed and come outside."
I tested the air temperature with an arm. "It's pretty cold outside, Lord, and I'm not awake yet."
"I know. Get out of bed and come outside."
"All right, all right; I'm getting up." I disentangled myself from the warmth of the blankets and padded on bare feet (and the cold floor!) across my room to the window. I could barely see out of it through the layer of fine frost iced to the outside. "Um…Lord? It's really cold out there. Are You sure You want me outside?"
"Come on, Heidi; through the back door-and don't forget your camera."
"In THIS?"
"This is important, Heidi. Are you going to follow me?"
I could feel my face burn with blushing as my heart burned of shame within me. I picked up my little silver 35mm camera. "I'm coming, Lord."
I unlatched the two locks and went out the back door in little else but my terrycloth robe and my bare feet--into frosty twilight. I entertained for a half-second the notion of complaining that even the sun had had better sense to stay in bed at this temperature, but I couldn't bring myself to say it even in jest. "Okay, Lord, I'm outside. Now what?"
"Come to the East fence."
To reach the East fence from the backyard, you have to cross a concrete patio, a partially-paved driveway, and a grassy yard-all of them white with frost. I was sort of glad when my feet went numb, but I didn't look forward to their thawing when I got back indoors. None of my three cats were up yet, either, or they would have come along to see what I was doing (and if I had anything for them).
At last, I reached the high wooden structure of the East fence. "I'm here, Lord. What now?"
"Look down, Heidi."
Obediently, I looked down the wooden fence and into the white-layered grass. There, nestled against the fence despite the little daily sunlight they would have gotten, doubtless mown over thousands of times over the years, almost frozen…little violets were blooming. Not violas (which are miniature pansies), but actual, purple violets.
"Don't you see, Heidi? I agape you."
Then Matthew 6:26-34, which I had been studying the night before (and prayed for understanding on before falling asleep), came into sharp relief. If God, who created everything from the biggest star to the smallest gnat, cared for little violets to make them grow (where otherwise they would have died), how much more does He care for me! And human beings are the only part of His creation that receives His unconditional agape love. You and I were created to be able to receive and respond to that agape.
Then the sun rose, and a tiny shaft of light flickered through a gap in the boards to illuminate the flowers in the grass-which immediately responded by pouring their perfume into the air.
"Heidi, every heartfelt prayer that is within my will is sweeter than the perfume of violets."
Tears sprang to my eyes (and still do, to this day!). I couldn't find any words to say.
"Take a picture."
Wiping the moisture from my face, I turned on the flash, lifted the camera to my eye, aimed for the most violets and the least fence, and hit the shutter button. Then (what else could I do?) I worshiped my Savior thankfully with all my being.
Any time I feel dull or unimportant, I look up at the photograph on my wall of purple lawn violets among the frost and I remember that February morning when I had a conversation with God.
And you are no different, you know. God loves us all the same…unconditionally. The fact that you are alive is NOT a mistake-after all, God doesn't make mistakes. Wherever He's planted you, you're supposed to be there. Pray from your heart (hold a conversation); He wants to hear from you. He especially wants to make His agape love known to you.
Don't expect miracles like this. God has other ways to reach you. But no matter how He chooses to do so…pay attention. Especially when you don't expect it.
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
--Matthew 6:26-34 (NIV)
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