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The time is nine-thirty,
it's a Friday night.
My friends have gone out.
There's no one in sight.
I find the phone cord
and I plug it in.
With nothing to do,
I'll check my email again.
I click on the icon,
the one with the wings.
The modem dials.
The phone number rings.
The server connected.
I'm happy as can be.
It normally doesn't connect
until attempt three.
I open my email.
There's now twenty-five.
Two are from Mandy.
She's on her cam live.
She send me a link.
She is so considerate.
In order to view her,
it's five dollars a minute.
The next three emails
are questionable too.
Something about horses.
I know what to do.
Thank goodness for delete.
It comes in so handy.
Into the trash bin.
They belong there with Mandy.
Three more are for herbs
to increase my man size.
They guarantee inches.
They're so full of lies.
I've tried to block them
and each time I fail.
The product doesn't interest me
since I am a female.
The next two offer
to send a degree.
University diplomas
for a minimal fee.
Delete with a click,
as I laugh out loud.
I can be a doctor and a lawyer.
Won't my mother be proud.
There's fifteen more emails
with no end in sight.
If I read all the forwards,
I'd be here all night.
Each one from a person
I don't even know.
So into the trash bin
is where they will go.
The next is an email
I can hardly refuse.
Eat all I want
and continue to lose.
I delete this one too,
but what can I say.
The product isn't regulated
by the FDA.
The next two subjects start
I was in tears.
It's about some woman
who was overweight for years.
She lost all the weight.
I couldn't care less.
Into the trash bin
along with the rest.
With four left to go,
it has to get better.
One of them comes
attached with a letter.
I don't know the sender.
He's not on my list.
If I download a virus,
I'm going to be pissed.
The next two are offering
a CD club deal.
You're getting twelve CD's
for an absolute steal.
I appreciate the offer,
but it doesn't interest me.
I can download the CD's
on Morpheus for free.
The final email
is the ultimate scam.
It's a business opportunity
from an African man.
He promises fortunes
for an offshore account.
When you put money in,
he cleans it right out.
I look at the clock.
It's ten after ten.
By tomorrow evening,
I'll do it again.
When you want an email,
it never does fail.
All your inbox is filled with
is a lot of junk mail.
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