Still closed
by
Irina Guschina
(Age: 53)
copyright 12-10-2002
Age Rating: 13 to 127
You invited me into your garden,
You said, the blue bench waits me,
And one red rose is still living.
But you didn’t open the wicket for me.
The scent of last rose stays on my palms,
My ankles feel a light touch of a grass,
Growing under the blue bench. I am alone
Like the blue bench and last rose in your garden.
Help Us Stop Plagiarism -
Nearly all works at PnP are original. However a few people choose to plagiarize.
To check, choose a phrase from the work, then either drag and drop to the search box or copy and paste.
click on search and works at Google will be shown which match. Just to be sure, please do this before
you recommend or rate the work highly...
Hi, Irina, I think that this poem is unique in its setting. You've captured a very lovely scene with minimal effort. But I there are a few things that get in the way of the flow and beauty of this poem. In your first stanza, "You said, the blue bench waits me," I would say, "awaits me." On your second stanza, "The scent of last rose stays...." I would say, "The scent of the last rose...." You ended by stating that, "The wicket is till closed." I would not separate this sentence from your last stanza, instead, I would say, "Like the blue bench and last rose in your garden, but the wicket remains closed." This is a poem with character and grace.
Such emotion leaves me wanting more, but it is not needed to make your point. You have written another winner here. The blue bench is a great metaphor for life itself and the rose for love found and lost. Thank you for this wonderful piece, Anthony