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Still closed
by Irina Guschina (Age: 53)
copyright 12-10-2002

Age Rating: 13 to 127

You invited me into your garden,
You said, the blue bench waits me,
And one red rose is still living.
But you didn’t open the wicket for me.

The scent of last rose stays on my palms,
My ankles feel a light touch of a grass,
Growing under the blue bench. I am alone
Like the blue bench and last rose in your garden.

The wicket is still closed…

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06-17-2005 Roger Crique

Hi, Irina, I think that this poem is unique in its setting. You've captured a very lovely scene with minimal effort. But I there are a few things that get in the way of the flow and beauty of this poem. In your first stanza, "You said, the blue bench waits me," I would say, "awaits me." On your second stanza, "The scent of last rose stays...." I would say, "The scent of the last rose...." You ended by stating that, "The wicket is till closed." I would not separate this sentence from your last stanza, instead, I would say, "Like the blue bench and last rose in your garden, but the wicket remains closed." This is a poem with character and grace.

02-22-2005 Anthony Lane Stahlhut

Such emotion leaves me wanting more, but it is not needed to make your point. You have written another winner here. The blue bench is a great metaphor for life itself and the rose for love found and lost. Thank you for this wonderful piece, Anthony

01-20-2003 Cristina Lipp

Irina,

This is so beautiful and so touching. I just love the way you phrased this. Like Karen said, hauntingly beautiful.

Visitor Reads: 557
Total Reads: 679
Comments: 3

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Still closed by Irina Guschina (Age: 53) copyright 12-10-2002 Age Rating: 13 to 127

Still closed
by Irina Guschina (Age: 53)
copyright 12-10-2002

Age Rating: 13 to 127