Dark Love
by
Beverley McInnis
copyright 07-11-2001
Age Rating: 18 to 127
Black fills me
Touching me
Caressing me
Blinding me
Holding me in its chains
Darkness in my stomach
Clutching until the vile reaches my lips
Telling me I’m not worthy
Of your love
I only wanted to play
The day I met you
I didn’t intend to fall down into that hole
That I spent so many years crawling out of
And now those voices
They won’t stop telling me that I’m not worthy
Of your love
I’m running now as fast as my feet can fly
Don’t tell me what I know is coming
That I’m a great friend
But sorry there is nothing more
Like so many that I heard before you darkened my door
Because that darkness, that black that is filling my heart
Know that I’m not worthy
Of your love
The pain in my head slices me in half
I crumple to the ground crying silently in the rain
Others simply walk around me or step on my soul
Ignoring the one lying at their feet
As those voices continue to pelt out their tunes
And I know that I am not worthy
Of your love
So leave me in the dark, cover me in black
Walk away and never look back
I’d rather not know what I see in your heart
Because I know
I’ll never be worthy of love
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Interesting comments on this poem. While its true that I stated I write many of my poems from my own personal experiences and those of people around me, I did not state this poem is not my experience. I'm simply not verifying it is nor am I stating it is not.
Feelings, experiences cannot simply be changed by being "told" to smile and depression cannot simply be wished away. Even someone who appears happy, content and upbeat may only be that on the outside, while inside, the person is hearing voices stating differently.
My poetry tends to reflect the darkness and tragedies of life....this was one of those poems.
It is also "ok" to have darkness in one's life, along with happiness as the two shall join to create a balanced whole.
Thank you Mary and Bunny for reading the poem and the comments. I write based on my experiences, both in my life and those around me. My poetry and stories do not always directly reflect my own life.
I've had interesting interpetations of this poem. One friend who has ADHD (which I also have) saw this as a reflection of what a person with ADHD struggles with. Mary, you read it as failure and Bunny as depression. I think its cool to hear what people see in this poem. Which is the reason that I won't offer where this poem actually came from. :0)
Hi Bev, Thanks for stopping by my stories, and for your encouraging comments. This was very dark. Hopefully it's only fiction...You sound much more upbeat in your Bio. Good luck on getting a new horse. Bunny
So sad. I once heard that you get what you expect. You expect failure, that's what you get. you expect success, you get it. (of course not each and every time, but more often than not.) Heck! T.Edison failed fifteen times before succeeding in creating the lightbulb! *grin* And he was a genius. Ever wonder how many times B.Franklin failed with the lightning and key experiment? So, learn to love failure, embrace it, and expect success. :) I know, it's easier said than done. I'll shut my optimistic mouth now. Take care.
Welcome !
