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Video Games
by Pamela Mccray (Age: 18)
copyright 03-22-2004


Age Rating: 10 to 17

 
These things we spend money on
that take up all our time
they rack our brains
they are such a pain
and yet we collect them all

they use up too much electricity
the things we keep in different cities
these things we fight over
and call on to relieve our stress
they just make the headaches worse

Video for the pics they show, game for the "joy"
it brings


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07-23-2004 Lisa Anderson    

This is a very good poem idea. You clearly stated your message. However, it would really help if you added some punctuation. The last line is also a little shaky. I believe if you looked at it more closely you'd see where you made some of your small mistakes. Nice work, and a great start!
Visitor Reads: 566
Total Reads: 595
Comments: 1

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