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"Pain. It verifies my existence, proves that I am still alive. It is in everything I do, every move I make, every friend I have. I feed off of it...
"I just wish someone would convince me I didn't need to." ~Debra/Zoe/Mesa
"I don't want love to destroy like it has done my family," ~P!nk
I dream what it's like
To feel no pain with pleasure,
To feel loved and not
Despised with hot words,
Burning scars upon my soul,
To not be a slave…
I live with abuse,
The pain she causes to me,
The white agony.
Maybe it means she
Loves me, but I understand
I am an addict
Pain keeps me alive
It verifies I’m breathing
And keeps me her slave
What if I did not
Tolerate the pain she gives,
For those few moments
When she finally
Smiles without hate at me?
So rare and so few.
I ache, but that is
All that love has shown to be
It ruins the soul.
Just like hate and rage
It is the darkest of red
Filled with suffering.
But I hate this “love”,
Am tired of the never
Ending pain, streaking
My body in blood,
My soul littered with the scars
Of what this “love” is.
Be it physical,
Or unseen, love is abuse.
And I’m sick of it.
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