Dedicated to my mother who passed away as an Alzheimer child
When did I fully understand the vastness of your being? I do not know. As a child I simply loved you…the woman who could paint pictures with pastry… make flower arrangements dance… The mother who could breath in your sorrows and with a gentle blow, cast it out, out into the universe where the night time wind was the only reminder of life’s bitter lessons.
When I think back, it is as if you must have existed from the days of David. Did you write the lyrics to his songs? Were you the lady baking bread for shepherds? Yes, you even gathered the children to sing praises to the little King in the manger.
Then, somewhere in time, you became the child again…freed from responsibilities. People around you became nameless, faceless…but somehow, you remembered me…I was still part of your breathing…except now, you did not know about sorrows anymore…you just cried when you were uncertain…that was all. Through you, I caught a glimpse of what the other world will be like. Detached from emotion, thinking, reasoning…just being…a soul…although everything about you, as I use to know you, changed, I still loved the being inside you, but now it was different… just a oneness of soul... not in need of anything else.
As I sat next to your bed, witnessing your departure, mother nature collected all her children just for you and it was so breathtaking beautiful to see beyond life as I know it. Whispering snowflakes carried the message of your arrival into the universe, as they slowly cooled your body down. The wind playfully rustled the leaves …soon your breath would form part of their joyful dance …out there…Then as a final good-bye, a single raindrop rolled from your cheek. The sun slowly faded and then there was a holy silence. I never turned around to look at you again…before me… a silver moonlight blanket gently lifted your soul, embracing the new arrival to the cosmos.