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A Beautiful Day
by
Jennifer Campbell-Kletzli
(Age: 20)
copyright 03-22-2008
Age Rating: 13 to 127
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Picture Credits:
I woke up this morning,
and got out of bed.
A new day has arisen.
A day of peace, not dread.
It seems unusual to me,
as I step out of the shower,
to look outside my window,
and see a blooming flower.
It usually rains outside,
every single day.
But it's actually sunny out,
as I drive away.
I arrive at work
feeling bright and tall.
My mood is very happy.
I don't feel sad at all.
I work so hard all day.
I don't even feel tired.
My boss then comes around,
and tells me I've moved higher.
I lie in bed alone once more.
I feel like a beginner,
because I actually go to sleep
feeling like I'm a winner
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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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03-27-2008 Kelley Appleby
I read this three times, and could not put my finger on what I was feeling; That is until I read what Frank commented!! I wonder, too if this is what you intended or will this perception of your work be a revelation to you, as well? :) I have felt this way on too few days, but delight when I become aware that *this* is a "red-letter" day. Your use of contrast between good and bad, and your earnest realization that your day was rewarding and worthwhile, makes me wish you more of them. Nice job on this.
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03-22-2008 Frank Fields
I wasn't going to make any further comments, I really wasn't! ^^ But....
This work is deceptively under-scored, under-played, and undermines the sensibilities of the reader. If they will listen. ^^
Every stanza is a contrast of good and bad, sad and glad, bright and dark, cheery and gloomy. There is an under-lying sense, a feeling, that regardless of how well this one particular day went, that there were so many more gone by and so many more to continue, that were less than good, that a really troubling awareness of sadness sets in.
Or am I wrong? As your character goes to sleep, "...alone once more," can we assume that tomorrow will be as bright as today? I think not.
If all of this was accidental or coincidental, then may all our writings follow suit. ^^
Frank :)
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Total Reads: 252
Comments: 2
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