To chose between friend and lover by Debra Rose

"It's such a liability to love another person, but in here, it's like playing catch with grenades." ~Janet Fitch
"How could anybody confuse truth with beauty, I thought as I looked at him. Truth came with sunken eyes, bony or scarred, decayed. Its teeth were bad, its hair gray and unkempt. While beauty was empty as a gourd, vain as a parakeet. But it had power. It smelled of musk and oranges and made you close your eyes in a prayer." ~Janet Fitch

Guilt
As thick as blood
What comes first?
Friend or lover?
Future wife
My heart and soul
But a friend of near five years.
My sister and soul
Any way
I lose half of myself.

Why won't they let me have both?

How do I chose?
Oh fickle fate
Vengeful gods
How you must be laughing upon
Your daughter of sin.
In reverence have I thrown myself
Before the days
I met them
And now you laugh as in pain
I throw myself at their feet
An eternal servant
To myself?
To you?
Laugh, damned beings of hell
You make me selfish either way
Make me hurt them
I sin
I am bad
No matter what I do!
Laugh fates
As I sit in this Catch
22 you have made for me
And I wait
Tears in my eyes
Dagger to my wrist.
Hurting them all.

I am the martyr
The "bad person".
They all agree.
My parents
My friends...
My lover denies it.
Majority rule.
I crumble.

How do I not be the bad person?
Friend who has hurt me?
Yet saved me so much?
Or lover who believed in me
When my parents didn't.
Both I live for
Both I need...
Friend or Lover?
How do you chose?

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To chose between friend and lover
by Debra Rose (Age: 21)
copyright 04-23-2003

Age Rating: 16 to 127

Prose-n-Poetry.com

To chose between friend and lover by Debra Rose (Age: 21) copyright 04-23-2003 Age Rating: 16 to 127

To chose between friend and lover
by Debra Rose (Age: 21)
copyright 04-23-2003

Age Rating: 16 to 127