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On Line
Dominik K.
Robert Betts
Kelly Keller
3 Writers

Jennie Olsson
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4 Members
48 Guests

by my side
by Travis Bauer (Age: 21)
copyright 05-27-2003


Age Rating: 13 to 127

 
There are days I could cry.
And then there were days I could die.
What keeps me alive, is your pretty smile.
The days that I cry are the days I hope that you'll be there by my side.




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10-03-2004 Mary -BrytEyz- Ball    

Passion from within, expressed in words without forced emotion is truly a delight. I can honestly say that I eagerly anticipate reading each and every one of your works. What a treasure, what value, what passion... very unexpected from someone of your age and gender. You do your sex credit. Keep it up.

My only suggestion is this... the first line (there are days I could cry) seems to encompass past, present, and future time. However, the second line (and then were days I could die) seems to only encompass the past. I think it would be better if both lines agreed in this area. Other than that... short and sweet... thank you.
09-29-2004 Angela Toshner    

I would agree with Leah. NO guys at my school would EVER say anything like this. Though I never understand why a guy wont. I mean it isnt like a bad thing to say or anything. Good job!
11-05-2003 Leah Garrison    

this is spectacular...
I can't believe a guy wrote this. not because I don't think guys can, but because so often they won't admit this to anyone. and you are ever so expressive...
=^.^=
06-23-2003 Meagan Shafer    

your poem is short but sweet it expresses feeling threw your words . i like it
05-30-2003 Christopher Doss    

Hey Travis,
Good to see you got moved. Keep up the writing, it helps at our age..Lol
Chris
05-27-2003 Christine Berthiaume    

Glad to see you up front Travis!
Visitor Reads: 756
Total Reads: 914
Comments: 6

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